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Standing in the glow of the porch light, Spike sighed heavily and for the tenth time read the note he clutched in his hand. "Why me?" he muttered as he rang the doorbell.
A few moments later the door was opened by Buffy and she stared at him. "Yes?"
"Got new orders, pet."
She gave him a baffled look, but invited him inside. "Huh?"
Slumping down on the couch, Spike held out the note. Buffy took it and read it quickly, then started shaking her head.
"Uh uh, no way, no fucking way."
"I tried to talk to her, tried to reason with her, but she ain't listening. She's pissed off and you know what happens when she gets pissed off."
"People pay," Buffy sighed, sinking down next to him, her whole body slumping in resignation. "Angel's gonna kill me."
"You?!" Spike snorted. "Do you know how tenuous my relationship with Willow is at this stage?"
Buffy's lip curled up in a sneer and mockery crept into her voice. "Gee, just two nights ago you didn't have a relationship, remember?"
Was that a hint of blush on his cheeks? "Um...well, see, I had this dream..."
The blush deepened and Buffy began to grin. "Yeah? What kind of dream? Prophetic? Wet?"
Spike scowled at her. "Willow and I were...it was nice," he finished defensively.
"It wouldn't happen to have been one with you as a swashbuckling pirate and her as a virtuous maiden, would it?" At his wide-eyed stare, Buffy giggled. "Oh, this is sooo good. You and Willow are sharing dreams."
His scowl grew and he growled angrily. "Can we get on with this revenge thing."
Buffy's mirth fled and she sighed. "Why us?"
"Apparently it was about us."
"Euuuu."
"You know, you're kind of cute when your nose wrinkles up like that." Spike shook his head hard. "Where the fuck did that come from? The Slayer is not cute," he chanted to himself. "The Slayer is my sire's personal fuck toy and he'll rip off my bollocks and eat them if he finds out about this."
"Hey! It's not like we haven't done it before."
"But this was without Willow, totally sans Willow."
Buffy gave him a baffled look. "Laure wrote a story about us outside the series?"
"Yeah, and apparently a few people aren't too happy about it. Apparently we're overdone, overplayed, oversexed and overly boring."
Righteous indignation formed on Buffy's face. "Who said that about us?"
"Um, Slayer, there IS no us."
"Well...somewhere there is or she wouldn't have written about it, about us. Another universe, parallel earth like on that Sliders show? Oh God, I'm confused."
Spike ignored her and slid his coat off, then kicked off his shoes. "Anyway, Laure wants revenge, she gets revenge, or, and I quote, 'I'll do something really, really evil."
"Oh, come on. How evil can she write? She can't even kill anybody."
He cocked one eyebrow at her and she squirmed. "Remember her version of Willow and the dork's first time?" Buffy made a face. "Or how about her master fic, Power Play? Of course, I heartily enjoyed that one since Angelus was getting it up the ass right and left." At that, Buffy snickered, knowing full well her demon honey's dislike at being the fuckee. "Then there was that really nasty one where you beat and teased that stupid doltish friend of yours..."
She interrupted him with a wave of her hand. "Okay, I get the point."
"Do you really want her turning her wrath on us? Or Willow? Shit, the girl can hardly walk as it is."
"OKAY!" She took a deep breath to calm down. "So, we have to fuck."
"Looks that way," Spike replied in a voice full of doom.
"And we keep it a big, big secret."
"Oh, that's a given."
With a resigned sigh, Buffy pulled her tank top over her head, leaving her in a pair of skimpy shorts. "Well? Get undressed."
"Where's your mum?" he asked, furrowing his brow as his cock twitched at the sight of her bouncing breasts.
"She's never here. Laure never has her here unless she wants Angel to get pissed about her being here and take it out on me...You know, I don't think Laure likes me very much." She scowled and shimmied out of her shorts and panties, then pulled an afghan off the back of the couch and spread it on the floor.
Watching the muscles in her sleek legs and ass move as she lay on her stomach, Spike began to yank off his clothes. "Well, she is making Angelus be nicer to you."
"He's still a prick."
"But way more to me and Dru, since he's no longer beating the shit out of you."
"He's your sire, live with it," she retorted, totally unsympathetic.
Naked, Spike knelt next to her and Buffy rolled onto her side. As he reached for her, she held up her hands, warding him off. "Wait a sec. What is the point here?"
"What?"
"To us fucking. Why?"
Spike shrugged his shoulders and lifted her onto her knees, facing him. "Hell if I know. Ask her majesty."
"I mean, the last time someone flamed her, you went off and found the geek, tied him up and forced him to watch you and Willow go at it. Actually, I never did see why that was revenge."
"Some weak idea about showing him what he would never have, I think. It was just a way for us to have sex."
"Like you need an excuse!"
"...True. Look, can we just get this over with and figure out the whys and wherefores later?"
"Why? Are we on a deadline?"
"Oh, I don't know. When's prick boy due?"
Panicking slightly, Buffy glanced at her watch. "Shit, forty- five minutes. Great, to top it all off, we have to have a quickie, so I can have time to shower and fumigate."
"Ha ha, see me laugh."
"Shut up," Buffy growled, wrapping her arms around Spike's neck and pulling his mouth down to hers. They kissed hungrily, both amazed at the flame of passion that instantly sparked between them.
Lowering her onto her back, Spike braced himself above her, sliding his legs between her knees. His mouth trailed kisses down her throat and chest, catching first one nipple and then the other as she sighed in pleasure. Her legs spread, then rose and wrapped around his hips, her feet sensuously rubbing his ass. Her hands roamed over his chest and shoulders, caressing his hard flesh, making him groan in rising lust.
Raising his head, Spike met her eager lips, as he slipped one hand between her legs. He was surprised to find her so wet, her flesh swollen and eager. Caressing her gently, he felt her gasp as she buried her mouth in his neck. Buffy's hips arched, her legs tightening around him, as her pleasure grew.
"You're so hot, pet," he groaned as he slipped one finger inside her and her muscles clamped around it.
"Now," she pled softly, her body beginning to tremble with need.
Since his cock had been hard since the first sight of her full breasts, Spike saw no reason to delay. No reason to chance it with his prick of a sire probably on his way over. Catching her hands in his and pinning them gently on either side of her head, he thrust easily into her, groaning as her vaginal muscles squeezed him and her hips bucked against him.
Buffy eagerly met each thrust, grinding her throbbing clit against him and driving him deeper inside her. Their mouths roamed over whatever flesh they could reach, their hands clenched together, as their bodies moved together, falling easily into a quick rhythm.
As the tension inside her grew, Buffy's breathing quickened to harsh pants and she rolled her head, nipping at his neck and shoulders with her blunt teeth. Spike gritted his teeth and flung his head back, the temptation to bite her nearly too much. He thrust harder, pounding her slender body into the carpeted floor.
Suddenly, her whole body arched and she cried out, then fell, trembling from release. As her heat flowed around him, Spike growled and freed her hands, letting them fall limply next to her heaving breasts. Raising to his knees, he lifted her hips and slammed his cock into her quaking body. With another deep growl, he pulled out of her.
"Wh--what?"
"Bastard'll know..." he gasped out.
Figuring out what he meant, Buffy pushed him down onto his back and reached for his cock. He hissed in near pain and she lowered her mouth, running her tongue over the weeping tip.
"Don't tease!"
Gently sliding him inside her hot mouth, she sucked, feeling the throbbing beneath her lips. Her fingers moved lower, slipping around his scrotum, caressing. With a yell, Spike came, spilling his semen into her mouth. She swallowed easily, licking him clean as his body slowly relaxed.
Lifting her head, Buffy gave him a sexy grin. "Good thinking, Spike. We'd both be in deep shit if Angel found me with your cum leaking out from between my legs."
"...Prick..."
Giggling, Buffy reached for her panties and her tank top, putting them on, then threw his jeans at him. "Get dressed. I want to find out what the fucking point to all this was."
The phone rang and they both looked at each other. Buffy hurried into the kitchen, Spike behind her, pulling on his jeans, hopping from foot to foot. Buffy picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"There was no point, you silly girl, except that you two look great together and isn't a change nice once in a while?"
Buffy gave a long suffering sigh. "So, you're not pissed any more?"
"Oh, honey chile', I got over that in about twenty minutes last night, but everyone was so very supportive to me and my pairing the two of you, that I wanted to thank them."
"Since when are you a hundred year old black woman?"
A giggle came over the line and Buffy heaved yet another sigh. "Okay. You had fun, right? Nice orgasms all around?"
"Well...sure," Buffy answered, reddening slightly since she knew Spike with his super hearing could hear everything being said on the other end of the line.
"And I'm happy because I wrote the two of you again and Buffy/Spike is always of the good."
"Now you sound like Willow. So, you're going to post this where you're flamer can see it?"
"Uh...no...The flame, which wasn't horrible and scathing, just really annoying, was to me personally and I already replied with a nice calm, 'I'll write whatever I'm inspired to write and I suggest you just not read it'. So, this goes to the list where everyone loves the two of you."
"We have our own list?" Spike perked up at that.
"Willow, remember? The great love of your life, your soul mate--if you had a soul, that is," Buffy hissed at him.
"Monogamy is not in my vocabulary."
"How about castration," she replied sweetly, making him flinch instinctively, like any man at that horrible notion.
"Hey," the author chimed in. "Remember me? The wounded one?"
Both Buffy and Spike snorted. "Can we get back to our regularly scheduled lives now?" Buffy asked.
"I guess. Buffy, you need to go meet Angel in the alley by the La Pizzeria. Spike, to the park."
"Huh?" they both asked.
"No questions, chop, chop. Both of you shower first. You never know whom you might run into."
There was a click on the other end of the line and Buffy hung up, glaring at the phone. "I hate her."
"Oh, yeah, good one. Hate her and we're stuck with Whedon. Hell, he doesn't even do anything with me anymore and you haven't gotten fucked in over a year."
A shudder ran through her at the thought and she dashed for the shower. "Come on. Don't you want to find out what happens next?"
Spike thundered up the stairs after her.
*****
And far away in the Land of Oz (where it sleeted today because the Land of Oz has the stupidest weather on the planet), the author let out a huge sigh of happiness and then her stomach growled 'cuz it was way past dinner time, and her cat had probably starved to death, so she said a final thank you to those who sent comfort and ideas for revenge, hit save and tried to decide between spaghetti and tv dinner...
End