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AUTHOR'S
NOTE:We're gonna pretend that Spike put the torn nightgown back on Dru before
falling asleep in an earlier chapter. Thanks to my muse for pointing out the
inconsistency.
Spike found the book
right before sunset. Hearing his sire stomping around above his head, he flung
himself into his chair and wheeled back to his room. Stuffing the book under the
mattress, he jumped into bed.
Drusilla stirred, rolling
over to face him. She whimpered and he ran his eyes over her body. The whip
marks were visible, but mostly healed. Spike was more concerned about her state
of mind. Sometimes after Angel punished her like this, she reverted to a
childlike state. Sometimes... she went catatonic.
"Spike," she
mewed. "I hurt."
"What can I do to
help, luv?" He looked into her pain-filled eyes and winced in sympathy.
"Hungry."
"Can you hang on
while I take us to the kitchen, luv?"
"Um hum."
Quickly Spike lifted
himself into his wheelchair and reached for her. Drusilla slid from the bed,
whimpering at each movement, then curled onto his lap. The rags she wore barely
covered her and were stiff with blood, but he didn't want to hurt her more by
trying to dress her.
Very carefully he rolled
them out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen.
Hanging from meat hooks
in the ceiling were three teenage girls. They were alive and naked, bound and
gagged, and clearly terrified.
Spike scowled. This was
not something he had ever done. A vampire went out and hunted and killed. He
didn't keep live snacks. All it took was one managing to escape...
At the scent of a live
human, Drusilla perked up some and managed to rise to her feet. On shaky limbs
she shuffled over to the first girl and ran her hands over the small breasts and
stomach. The girl whimpered behind her gag, fresh tears streaming down her
cheeks.
"Come feed with me,
Spike?" Drusilla asked, her face shifting.
Hunger roiled through
him, but he remembered Willow's words, her apparent horror at his feeding, and
didn't move. He watched Drusilla shrug, then turn and bite the girl's neck,
drinking quickly and sloppily.
The scent of blood filled
the room and Spike felt his face changing, his demon emerging. He was hungry and
he needed fresh blood to recover his full strength.
Willow was just going to
have to learn to accept that.
Rolling forward, he
grabbed the second girl, tearing the rope free of the hook so that she fell
across his lap. Growling, he buried his mouth in her throat, cradling her like a
baby as he fed on her life.
*****
Willow finally stopped
crying and excused herself. Going into the bathroom, she slumped against the
sink and tiredly splashed cold water on her sore eyes and aching jaws. Crying
took a lot out of a person.
Glancing up, she winced
at the image in the mirror. Her face was red and streaked with dried tears. Her
eyes were badly bloodshot and so dull. Her hair was tangled and limp around her
slumped shoulders.
It was so easy to blame
it all on Spike...but she knew that wasn't right. Even if he had known about the
possibility of the bond, Giles had said it was a very rare woman who could
create the enzyme.
And she had been the one
to initiate the bite, begging him to take her blood.
As she looked back on it,
Willow couldn't figure out why she had done that. Everything she had read stated
that, although possibly pleasurable, vampire bites did not induce the ecstasy as
movies and romance novels would have one believe. She had known that, even if at
the time she hadn't been thinking clearly.
So, why had she wanted
him to bite her?
Maybe...just maybe a part
of her had known that she would be receptive to it.
That thought was too
repulsive to be considered and Willow shook herself angrily. But, an obscene
image remained. Of a female animal going into heat when the right, best male
came around.
Had her body done the
same thing?
Nausea slammed into her
and she flung herself towards the toilet.
*****
After she fed, Drusilla
patted the dead girl's head, then walked over to the remaining one. She twisted
in her bonds, terrified, squealing through her gag.
"Ooh, she sounds
like a little piggy. Can I eat her, too?"
"Are you feeling
better, luv?" Spike shoved the corpse off his lap and eyed it with growing
distaste.
"Um...yes. Much
better."
"Then why don't you
leave it for someone else. You can go hunting later tonight if you want a
snack."
Drusilla twirled over to
him and he saw that the whip marks had faded to white and a hint of color was in
her cheeks. "Okay." She sat down on his lap and squirmed as she
wrapped her arms around his neck.
Spike cursed silently as
he felt his cock twitch and begin to swell.
Eyes widening, Drusilla
squirmed some more until he grabbed her and forced her to sit still. She gave
him a wicked look. "Do you want to fuck, Spike?"
Spike stared at her in
amazement, then shook his head in confusion. "Aren't you still in pain, Dru?"
"Yes, but that
doesn't matter." The innocent and obscene honesty in her voice made him
cringe and want to smack Angel several times, hard. He remembered what Drusilla
had said. After Angel had torn her inside, he had taken her. So, of course she
was used to it.
"It matters to me,
Dru," he said, seriously.
Drusilla sighed and
nipped his ear, whining slightly, "I hurt, but I'm all squidgy inside, too.
I don't mind if you hurt me more." She licked his neck, then bit his chin.
"No. Not tonight.
You need a nice warm bath and some clean clothes."
Rising to her feet,
Drusilla sent him a pouting look, then stomped down the hall like a child. He
heard her go up the stairs and wondered if she would entice Angel into fucking
her senseless or if she'd take the bath.
Shaking his head, he
rolled towards the elevator, hoping he could keep her out of their sire's bed
for one night at least.
*****
Willow emerged from the
bathroom looking even more pale and sick. Buffy immediately jumped to her feet
and helped her friend to the bed.
"Will, you really
don't look good. When was the last time you ate something?"
"No food,"
Willow groaned, settling back against her pillows.
"You have to
eat," Cordelia said, gently rubbing one of Willow's limp hands.
"You'll just make yourself sick."
"Maybe I'll
die."
Both girls stared at the
redhead, trying to determine how serious she was.
"Will," Buffy
began carefully, sitting at the foot of the bed. "You aren't thinking...You
really didn't mean to kill Spike, did you?"
"I don't know,"
Willow whispered. "Did I miss on purpose? Did I want to hurt him? Did I
want to let him know how vulnerable he was?" She looked at her friends
through anguished eyes. "Maybe I did want him dead. Then, it would only be
a few weeks and it would all be over."
Cordelia's breath hissed
sharply between her teeth and she snapped, "Don't you dare talk like that.
This is not the end of the world, do you hear me, Willow Rosenburg?"
"Cordy's right.
Spike loves you. Okay, right now you despise him, but...would it be so
terrible."
Willow stared at Buffy in
shock and responded in a harsh voice. "I'm not you. I'm not going to settle
for something less just to make it easier for myself."
Hurt flooded Buffy's eyes
and she looked away. "No, you just fucked a demon you had no feelings for
whatsoever."
"TIME OUT."
Both girls stared at
Cordelia, who continued in a quieter voice. "Turning on each other and
being bitchy is going to get no one anywhere. Now, Willow, you have a couple
choice. You learn to deal with what Spike is and try to figure out what you feel
for him. You accept the bond and the necessity of sex with him for the rest of
your life. Or, you kill him. Or, you kill yourself."
"Cordy," Buffy
interjected.
"It's not
fair," Willow yelled. "It's not fair that those are my only choices.
What did I do so wrong in my life? Okay, I slept with a demon. Do I deserve to
be tied to him for the rest of my life? I can't have a normal life. I can't have
a family...a husband...children. How could I explain this to a man? How can I go
away to college or have a career or..." She angrily blinked away the tears
that were forming and swallowed hard.
"Willow,"
Cordelia said softly.
Willow shook off her
hand, wrapping her arms around her heaving chest. "I can never leave
Sunnydale for more than a month. I'm stuck here...until I die. And, did Giles
tell you, this bond...usually the vampire eventually tires of being bound to a
human woman...and kills her."
Cordelia gasped, paling.
"He wouldn't. He loves you."
"Does he?"
Willow asked bitterly. "Or...was I just a convenience? Sometimes, I
wondered about what we had. Was I just something to alleviate his eternal
boredom? A virgin he could instruct in all the various ways of sex?"
"Willow, I've never
seen anyone so in love as Spike is with you."
"Oh, you're such an
expert, Buffy. You're one great love turned into a monster."
Buffy cringed at the
bitter sarcasm in her best friend's voice and felt her own tears well up.
"I can't help but feel that you're blaming me for this. If you hadn't known
me..."
"Oh, grow up! Not
everything is about you. You can be such a selfish..."
Willow never got the rest
of her diatribe out as Cordelia's hand cracked across her mouth, effectively
stunning everyone in the room.
"Apologize,
NOW."
Willow stared at Buffy,
saw the tears in the blonde's eyes, and realized that Buffy was right. A part of
her did blame her, but not anywhere near as much as she blamed herself.
"I'm sorry, Buffy. I don't know what I'm saying or doing."
"Do you blame
me?" Buffy asked hesitantly.
"I think...a little
bit. You're right, if I hadn't known you...Of course, if I hadn't known
you...I'd probably be a vampire or dead by now." As fresh tears leaked out
of her eyes, she reached for Buffy and they hugged tightly. After a moment, both
turned and drew Cordelia into their embrace.
Cordelia began to cry
softly, holding onto Willow as if she was a lifeline. "I can't lose you,
either of you. So both of you, you have to learn to accept what life has given
you. You're both so strong. You can survive the bond, Willow, and you can
survive Angelus, Buffy. Just...don't give up."
*****
Hearing Drusilla singing
to herself and splashing in the large bathroom that separated her room from
Angel's suite, Spike wheeled into his sire's sitting room. Angel sat on the sofa
reading the evening paper.
"Roller boy. Sleep
well?"
"Well enough. You
have plans tonight?"
Angel lowered the paper
and narrowed his eyes. "I thought I'd take Dru hunting--sounds like she's
recovered enough-- then drop her off here while I go find my blonde bimbo."
"Yeah, I saw the
Slayer. She's looking much better. You been leaving her alone?"
"Hah hah. Just a
change of method, Spikey. I told you once, the only way to kill that girl is to
love her."
"So...gonna kill her
anytime soon?"
"Why would I do
that? She doesn't stop me from feeding and I get a lot of wild fucking. True,
she doesn't have quite the stamina or ability to take pain as Dru, but there's
nothing like the hot quim of a human to drain an ice-cold cock." Angel gave
Spike an appraising look. "But, then, it's probably been, what, a hundred
years or so since you've been unfaithful to your beloved princess?"
Spike gave him an icy
look. "Dru and I love each other. An emotion you are incapable of
feeling."
Angel shuddered and
grinned. "Why in Satan's name would I want to feel love for anyone? What a
revolting thing for a vampire to want."
A loud splash and a cry
of pleasure came from the bathroom and Spike groaned as Angel laughed.
"Sounds like your
princess has fallen off her pedestal and is finger fucking herself into
oblivion."
"What the fuck did
you put up her last night?" Spike snapped, angrily, trying to tune out the
sounds of Drusilla pleasuring herself.
Angel's eyes narrowed
again and he looked at Spike appraisingly. "Be careful, mate. I could still
use it on you. And, nobody would stop me. You certainly couldn't. Remember, I'm
top dog now. You ceded your position without a fight. You want one now and
you'll find yourself on your stomach in front of the entire clan with my cock up
your ass."
"I won't be in this
chair forever," Spike said carefully.
"But...you'll always
be second to me," Angel said, nodding towards the bathroom door.
"Sloppy seconds, at that."
Fighting back the desire
to leap at his sire, Spike spun the chair around and quickly wheeled out the
door, gritting his teeth at Angel's laughter. His demon roared in his mind, but
Spike fought it back, growling deep in his throat as he rolled into Drusilla's
room.
She was sprawled on her
bed on her stomach, smiling, her eyes closed.
"Oooh, Spike, I feel
all tingly inside."
Stopping beside the bed,
he levered himself onto the mattress next to her and her eyes fluttered open.
"Did the bath make you feel good, luv?" All the tenderness he felt
towards her came out in his voice as he successfully shoved his demon down.
Drusilla purred and
rubbed her cheek against his denim- covered thigh. "And my fingers."
She sat up, then jumped off the bed and wafted over to her closet, throwing the
doors open. "My Angel wants to go hunting with me. We haven't done that in
forever. I must look my best." She began to go through her dresses at a
near manic pace.
"You always look
lovely in the black gown, pet."
"Oh, yes."
Drawing the black velvet gown out of her closet, she slipped it over her head.
The bodice plunged low between her breasts from narrow straps and was decorated
with embroidered tangled rose vines. She found a pair of black suede pumps and
slipped them on, then hurried to her dressing table for her brush.
"Come here,
princess. Let me do that."
Smiling, Drusilla
traipsed over to Spike and handed him the brush before settling between his
legs. She shivered as he begin to run the hard bristles through her damp hair.
*****
Willow lay in the
darkness of her room staring at the Monty Python screen saver--BBC Fairies--on
her computer. Buffy and Cordelia had finally, reluctantly left, after she had
convinced them that she wasn't going to kill herself.
And she meant it. She
didn't want to die.
She just wasn't sure she
really wanted to live either.
Her mother had bought the
time of the month cramps excuse and left her alone. Willow couldn't face steak.
Nothing bloody. Not now.
Maybe she'd become a
vegetarian.
Idly she wondered if
Spike would come to her again or if he'd found the book. She didn't have the
energy to glance through it herself.
No, staring at the
buzzing BBC executives was strangely soothing and so much easier than actually
trying to accomplish anything.
Unfortunately, they were
rather hypnotic and Willow kept having to jerk herself awake. The last thing she
wanted to do was sleep. Sleep only brought horrible nightmares.
*****
An hour had passed since
Angel and Drusilla had gone hunting. As soon as they had left, Spike had
retrieved the book and searched for the relevant chapters. Once he had found
them, he had read voraciously.
Now, the truth revealed,
he set the book down on his desk very carefully and stared across the room in
shock, swallowing convulsively.
He had destroyed the
woman he loved.
She would never forgive
him for this, never believe that he hadn't known. A bond of blood and lust that
would tie her to him for the rest of her life. One bite had created that. One,
totally unnecessary bite.
An image flashed through
his stunned mind of Willow, thin, white haired, her face lined with an ancient
pain. She shuffled across the room to where he sat, Drusilla on his lap. The
image was so clear, as if it was strangely precognitive.
The elderly Willow
removed her clothes and laid down at his feet, waiting. And he took her, hard,
fast, uncaring, biting and feeding in the same manner. He could tell it was the
last thing on Earth she wanted to do, that she hated it, hated him.
And, as he felt her heart
break, his shattered as well.
As the vision cleared,
Spike realized that tears were running down his cheeks. How many years, decades
had it been since he had cried?
And a tiny, teenage
spitfire was the cause of it all.
His true love.
And, she hated him.
*****
For fifteen minutes he
had stood outside her French doors, looking through the gap in the curtain,
watching her sleep. She was so beautiful, but he could see the strain on her
young face, the lines of fear, the unnatural pallor, the bruise that makeup
couldn't hide completely.
Guilt rolled through him,
quickly followed by silent chastisement. Vampires didn't feel guilty. He had no
reason to feel guilty. She had burned him with a cross!
A feeble excuse.
Self-disgust joined the guilt, forcing the demonic side of himself into retreat.
Willow rolled onto her
side, facing the window and Spike watched her curl her hand into a fist as a
frown formed on her face. One leg kicked out, then she drew herself into a ball.
He could see her trembling.
Pain ripped through his
dead heart and the misery nearly overwhelmed him.
Everything she was
experiencing--every ounce of pain, every second of nightmare--was all his fault.
Spike leaned against the
glass, his hand on the door knob. He knew he had no right to go inside, had no
right to ever bother her again.
But, if he didn't...she
would go insane. They needed to talk about this, about this bond. He had to
convince her that he hadn't known anything more than rumors and that he
certainly hadn't been consciously thinking of it. She had to believe that he
loved her. Somehow he had to convince her and he had to get her to accept
Drusilla.
His demon refused to let
Drusilla go, but a part of his human side held on to her as well. He loved her,
had loved her for over one hundred years. He couldn't just give that up.
Neither could he lose the
girl lying ten feet and a million miles away from him.
*****
Willow moaned and opened
her eyes. She sat on a cushioned chair and in front of her was a group of
vampires. None of them were paying any attention to her. Puzzled, she glanced
down and saw that she was dressed in a skin-tight, black leather dress that
barely covered her breasts and rode high on her fishnet covered thighs.
A hand from beside her
reached for her and she looked at the fingers wrapped around her wrist. Long,
slender, very pale, masculine.
Turning her head,
expecting to see her lover, her eyes met dark and fiery ones.
Angelus lifted her wrist
to his mouth and he sucked on the pulse point.
Only, there was no pulse.
As that fact settled into
Willow's quickly panicking mind, there was a commotion amongst the vampires. A
woman was being dragged forward. A human woman.
Buffy.
"Your time's up,
Slayer," Angelus said jovially. "Will, she's all yours."
Willow felt herself rise,
felt her face shifting, changing, felt the evil overwhelm her, forcing the real
her into a corner of the demon's mind.
Buffy was fighting,
trying to free herself, but she was hopelessly outnumbered. The Willow who was
watching from the corner of the demonic mind registered the changes in her best
friend. She was older, harder looking, almost ragged. There were scars on her
too thin body, a hideous one over her milky left eye.
Instinctively Willow knew
she had done that, she had blinded her best friend's eye.
"Party's over,
Buffy."
Was that her voice? That
husky, evil sound?
"Another will follow
me," Buffy said bravely. "In the end, we will win."
Willow chuckled and
reached for her one-time friend. "For you it was over the day you let him
have me. You let me make the bargain and didn't stop him from collecting. You
doomed yourself, Buffy." Leaning forward, she buried her fangs in the
blonde's throat. Hot blood gushed over her tongue and down her throat.
Screaming the word 'no',
Willow forced herself awake.
*****
Spike heard her cry and
saw her sit up, her entire body shuddering. Before he could think, his hand was
turning the door knob and he was inside the room.
Caught in the horror of
the nightmare, Willow could only stare as Spike hurried to her side, his face
showing only concern. He dropped onto the bed next to her and that galvanized
her. Scooting out of his reach, she pressed herself to her headboard.
"Go away," she
mumbled, still shaking. The dream had been horrible, so terrifying...so real.
"Willow..."
Spike reached for her and
Willow flinched back, then flung herself from the bed. Dizziness immediately hit
her and she stumbled into her dresser. Her legs threatened to give out and
everything went hazy.
The next thing she knew,
Spike was carrying her back to the bed.
"What
happened?" she asked weakly as he lay her down carefully, then sat next to
her.
"You were fainting,
luv."
Willow realized he was
stroking one of her hands and she jerked it away, then groaned as another wave
of dizziness hit.
Forcing down the feeling
of hurt that spread through him, Spike looked at her carefully. "When was
the last time you ate anything?"
The blank stare that met
his question, answered it.
"Where are your
parents?"
"Um...Mom's at her
playreading group. Dad's bowling."
"I'm going to make
you a sandwich." He rose and walked out of her room before she could
protest.
Wrapping her arms around
herself, Willow watched him leave, trying to raise her anger at him. She was
just so tired and so scared and her body wouldn't stop trembling. She reached
for the blankets and pulled them up to her chin, but she still felt cold.
A few minutes later Spike
returned carrying a plate with what looked to be a turkey sandwich on it and a
glass of milk. He set them down on the nightstand, then pulled the desk chair up
to the bed and sat down on it.
Willow stared at the
sandwich and was surprised at the rumble in her stomach. Reaching for the food
she devoured it in a couple of minutes, not even tasting it. When she was
finished, she leaned back against the headboard, hugging the blankets to
herself.
"Go away."
Spike ignored her and
crossed one leg over the other. "I read the book, Willow. I didn't know
about the bond. I knew...something, but not that, not what it would do to
you," he said quietly, trying to convince her.
"I don't believe
you," she answered in a bitter voice.
"Then I'll just have
to convince you."
Her eyes skittered to his
and he nearly flinched at the depth of pain he saw. "Willow...I didn't bite
you until you asked me to."
"You bastard."
He acknowledged the truth
of that with a shrug of his shoulders. "At the time, I think I might have
remembered something very vague about feeding during sex, but I honestly did not
remember anything near the truth. Even after reading about it, I still can't
consciously recall ever learning about that. Apparently it's so rare that most
vampires don't know about it."
"You're not 'most'
vampires," she shot back.
Spike tried another tack.
"Luv, I understand the ramifications of the bond for you. The chemicals
building inside you need release."
Willow felt amazement
flood her and she stared at him wide-eyed. "You came here for sex? You
really think I'll let you touch me?" She laughed harshly and pointed to the
doors. "Get the fuck out of my room."
"You're an
intelligent woman, Willow, and, no, I didn't come here for sex. We need to talk
and we still have several days before the month is up."
"I'm not sleeping
with you." Willow shook her head in denial. "Ever again. You're not
touching me, not biting me. I'd prefer to go nuts."
Anger erupted in him at
her bitter determination to be difficult. "Shut up."
Willow stared at him in
surprise.
"Do you really think
I'm going to allow that?" Ice hung in his voice.
And the fear returned.
Willow looked into his eyes and felt a pang of sorrow as she saw how empty yet
determined they were. As the panic spread through her, she acknowledged the
truth. He could do anything he wanted to her and she was pretty much powerless
to stop him.
If he wanted to, he could
take her right now and all her battling would bring her nothing and would
probably only enrage him.
"Please don't,"
she whispered, pleading.
Spike stared at her in
growing exasperation. He tried to bring himself under control, to understand her
fear, but he was still so baffled by it. She was more frightened of him now then
she had been their first night together. "Please don't what, Willow? Just
what do you think I'm going to do to you?"
"...I don't
know," she answered in a small, thin voice. "You won't let me go
insane...There's only one way to prevent it."
"As I said, we have
several days. Several days in which we can talk all this mess out and make it
right again."
Willow shook her head
slowly. "It will never be right again."
Spike sighed airlessly
and ran one hand over his face. "Never is a very long time, luv. Now, let's
talk about Drusilla."
*****
Drusilla strolled through
the empty mansion, wondering where Spike had gone and what Angel was up to. Her
daddy was being very secretive.
And, so was Spike.
Walking into his room,
she lay down on the bed and stared pensively at the ceiling. She didn't like the
boys keeping secrets from her. Secrets were bad. Keeping secrets got you a swift
caning on your little bum.
Giggling, Drusilla pulled
a pillow to her face and took a deep sniff. It smelled like Spike--all musky
with a hint of wintergreen. Angel smelled like death all the time, which was
wonderful, but she liked the fresh smell of Spike. After feeding, he always
cleaned up and brushed his teeth.
It was...nice. Different.
Though death tasted nice,
too.
Suddenly, an image
crashed into her mind, forcing out her thoughts of Spike and Angel.
She saw the little red
headed girl, sitting on a bed, pouting and crying.
And...Spike. Spike was
walking around her room. Spike was walking.
As the vision faded, rage
filled Drusilla. Spike could walk!
Jumping from the bed,
Drusilla ran out of the mansion, heading unerringly for the girl's house, her
mind seething with images of the girl in Spike's arms, in Spike's bed.
Her prezzie to her lover
had turned into something much more and Drusilla just could not allow that.
*****
Buffy had only about a
quarter of her mind focused on her patrolling, so she was surprised when a large
body tackled her from seemingly out of nowhere. The crash to the ground drove
the air out of her and she gasped helplessly. A clawed hand dug into her
fingers, freeing the stake she carried and flinging it away. The creature on her
back growled against her neck and Buffy bucked, trying to fling him off.
Suddenly, the weight was
gone. Rolling onto her back, still trying to find her breath, Buffy dizzily
focused her eyes on Angel holding a struggling, male vampire over his head.
Growling, he brought the vampire down and cracked his back over his raised knee.
The wounded vampire
howled and fell to the ground, writhing. Coolly, Angel picked up the stake and
drove it through the other male's heart. The vampire got off one stunned sound
before he dusted.
Tossing the stake away,
Angel reached down and hauled Buffy to her feet. She swayed and coughed, then
looked up into his angry, demonic face.
"If you're going to
let yourself be surprised by fledglings, I'm not going to let you hunt
anymore," he snarled, shaking her.
"Hey...ow." She
pulled away from him, rubbing her upper arms. "I...would have gotten
him."
Shifting to human, Angel
gave her a look of total disbelief. "I've been watching you for the last
half hour. You haven't been paying any attention. What's wrong now?"
"Um...math test, big
math test tomorrow." Buffy turned and began walking away, knowing full well
that he'd follow. "So, um, you're early."
"Mansion's
boring," Angel said from beside her. "Spike will only take my needling
for so long these days."
"Why needle
him?"
"Why not?"
Angel slipped his arm around Buffy's waist, hauling her against him as they
headed out of the park. "He's too sensitive. A very odd vampire."
"You made him."
Angel chuckled. "Oh
yeah. Those were the days. We were the scourge of London. He wasn't such a
pantywaist then. Not until he met Dru and decided that maybe vampires had hearts
after all." He shuddered. "He's become even more pathetic
recently."
Not wanting to discuss
why Spike was different, Buffy changed the subject. "Um, are we heading
home?"
"Unless you want to
fuck in that alley over there."
Buffy sighed and turned
towards home.
*****
"I don't want to
talk about Drusilla," Willow replied coldly, avoiding looking at Spike as
he leaned closer to her, giving her pensive looks.
"I know it was a
shock to you, seeing me with her."
"And here's where
you tell me that you're a vampire and vampires are amoral, right?" she
answered sarcastically.
"Um...well...Willow,
several weeks ago when I told you that you were my only lover, I wasn't lying.
The first time with Dru in...way too many years was the other night. I woke up
with her in my bed, naked."
"And, being a man or
a sort of man, you couldn't help yourself."
"Your sarcasm really
isn't helping here, Willow."
"Fuck you."
Sighing, Spike leaned
back in his chair and stared at the ceiling for a moment, then looked back at
the angry girl on the bed. "I've been in love with Dru for over a hundred
and twenty years. That kind of emotional bond doesn't dissipate over
night."
"So...when you said
you loved me," Willow choked but forced herself to continue, "you
still loved her."
"Yes."
Willow felt her heart
plummet into her stomach and the nausea returned. Rolling onto her side facing
away from him, she fought back the bitter tears stinging her eyes. "Go
away," she pled softly.
"You can't accept
that?" Spike asked quietly. "You can't accept that I love you
both?"
"It's...wrong...unnatural."
One tear leaked down her cheek to hang on the end of her nose.
"So am I."
Silence fell for a moment, broken only by the harsh sound of her breathing,
until Spike groaned softly. "Willow, I really don't want to get into a
discussion about the mating habits of vampires right now, but I can't abandon
Drusilla and won't abandon you."
"Why? Why can't you
abandon her? Why do you have to still love her? You know she's sleeping with
Angel. You know she's just a whore." As she spoke the angry words, she knew
she was making a mistake and her body tensed.
"Do not ever call
her that again."
The fury in Spike's
raised voice sent Willow scrambling off the far side of the bed. He had a hold
of her arm before she could get away and he spun her into his embrace. Willow
whimpered and looked into his flashing eyes. He shook her once, hard and she
began to shiver in fear.
Slowly Spike brought
himself under control and released her. Willow stumbled backwards until she hit
the wall, her eyes never leaving him.
"Fuck," he
growled under his breath. "Willow..."
"I'm sorry,"
she responded numbly.
"You hit a sore
point, luv. I'm sorry I grabbed you. My relationship with Dru, Angelus'
relationship with her, if you can call it that, are both very complicated."
"I don't care. I
really don't."
Spike didn't believe a
word of it. He could see the fear in her trembling body, her skittish eyes.
Sighing, he returned to the chair, sitting down and staring at the floor. What a
fucking mess.
Suddenly there was a
pounding on the outer door, a hard, loud, angry pounding. At Willow's horrified
gasp, Spike looked over his shoulder, then jumped to his feet in shock.
Drusilla, a very furious
Drusilla, was hammering on the glass. "Spike!"
*****
Buffy climbed in her
window and went over to lock her door. "Mom's here."
"I saw the
car," Angel said, shutting the window and pulling the curtains closed.
Turning to look at him,
Buffy dropped her weapons' bag and kicked it under the bed. "So...are we
still playing these lovey dovey games?"
Angel smirked and leaned
against the window, his arms crossed over his chest. "What, you want me to
throw you on the bed and fuck the shit out of you?"
"Not
particularly."
He nodded, running his
eyes over her body. "You're looking better, though still obviously off your
game."
"I feel better.
So...can we get on with it? I do have that math test tomorrow. Wanna be bright
eyed and bushy tailed."
"Nothing bushy about
your tail, lover."
Buffy blushed and kicked
her shoes off, then reached for the snap of her jeans. Angel grabbed her hands
and pulled her towards him, sliding his arms around her waist.
"Let me do
that," he whispered in a husky voice, pulling her down to the floor. As his
mouth found hers, kissing her tenderly, he slowly removed her clothes, his hands
lingering on her breasts and hips.
Moaning in sudden
pleasure, Buffy lay back, pulling Angel down on top of her. Her fingers slid
inside the open collar of his shirt and she quickly freed the buttons. Running
her nails over his sensitive nipples, she slid her mouth over his cheek to his
ear, sucking the lobe between her teeth.
Angel yanked his shirt
off, then groaned as she bit his ear. As he buried his mouth in her throat,
sucking at her pulse points, his hand slid down to her breast. He tweaked her
nipple until it hardened.
Releasing his ear, Buffy
closed her eyes and let herself feel. His cold chest brushing her breasts, his
tongue caressing her throat, his hands dancing over her stomach, his leather
encased legs sliding between hers.
As his mouth moved to her
breasts, sucking on one nipple after the other, Buffy reached between them and
unfastened his pants. His cock sprang free, poking hard against her hip. Her
hand wrapped around the head and she smiled at his grunt of pleasure.
Raising to his knees,
Angel kicked his shoes off then jerked his pants down his legs, tossing them
aside. Naked, he sat back, leaning against the bed. Reaching for Buffy's hand,
he pulled her onto his lap.
They kissed passionately
as their bodies rubbed against each other. Buffy wrapped her legs around his
waist and moaned as his cock caressed her wet cleft, massaging her aching
clitoris. Angel gripped her buttocks and lifted her enough to thrust inside her
tight passage.
Whimpering, Buffy dug her
fingers into his shoulders and began to rise and fall on his cock, her mouth
buried in his throat as she panted.
Angel grunted with each
thrust, his hips lifting off the floor to slam his cock deep inside her as she
screwed herself down on him. His mouth ran over her neck and shoulder, then back
to her rapidly thumping carotid artery. He sucked hungrily on her dampening
flesh as she moved faster, keening softly into his throat.
Their lust growing, they
slammed together, their bodies shaking with desire.
"Harder," she
begged, biting his neck with her blunt teeth.
Digging his fingers into
her ass cheeks, Angel thrust forcefully, nearly sending her off his lap. Buffy's
legs tightened around his waist and she ground against him, feeling her clit
throb with painful need.
Sensing how close she
was, Angel slipped his hand over her slick belly and between her legs. Finding
her clit, he twisted it until she whimpered and stiffened on him. Crying his
name, his true name, into his neck, Buffy exploded, shaking and clenching around
his cock.
Laying her back on the
floor, Angel came over and thrust hard and fast into her trembling, relaxing
body. Flinging his head back, he groaned her name and came hard, slamming into
her grasping pussy.
Slowly he collapsed,
grunting in pleasure. Tumbling onto his back beside her, he stared at the
ceiling. As rational thought returned, he glanced at Buffy and saw that she was
asleep.
Rising to his knees, he
carefully picked her up and lay her on the bed, pulling the blankets over her.
Picking up her clothes, he put them in the hamper, then quickly dressed.
Angel walked to the
window and raised it, then stood there for a minute. Turning back, almost
reluctantly, he returned to Buffy's side and bent over her. Touching her cheek
gently, he glared in frustration. "Why do you fuck me back, girl? Why do
you call my name when you come? You should hate me."
Growling softly, he
walked back to the window, but couldn't resist one last look at her sleeping
peacefully, a pleasured smile on her face. "I should hate you."
*****
Spike stared at Drusilla
for a moment, then moved towards the door.
"Don't let her
in," Willow yelled, panicked.
Flashing her an angry
look, Spike opened the door and stepped outside as Drusilla backed up. He left
the door open.
Drusilla stared up at
him, such bitter pain and betrayal in her eyes that Spike flinched.
"You can walk,"
she finally said in a small, thin voice. "How long?"
"Dru...How did you
find me?"
She raised one little
fist and pounded it against his chest. "HOW LONG?"
Grabbing her wrist, Spike
pulled her against him, watching the fury and pain meld in her expression.
"Over three months."
Drusilla gasped, then
whimpered in pain and pulled free of him, wrapping her arms around her waist.
She shook her head, trying to deny his words. "No...why? Why hide this from
me? I've so wanted you to get well."
"I...I couldn't let
you know, luv. Angelus..."
"We would have been
a happy family again."
Spike shook his head,
trying to think of a way to make her understand that he and Angel would never be
able to go back to the way things had been the century before.
"And, why are you
here? At the little redhead's house? Why?" Drusilla's voice rose to a keen
as her fingers wrapped into her hair, pulling.
Spike grabbed her wrists,
his fingers caressing her, trying to calm her. "Luv, let me explain."
"I gave her to you
twice and still you didn't eat her," she said petulantly. "And, then
she came to us the other night. Why?"
"Um."
"Yes, why
Spike?" Willow asked from just inside the door.
Swiveling his head to
look at her, Spike glowered. She glowered right back, a tight, angry smile on
her face.
"Why don't you tell
your eternal love about how since you've been able to walk, you've been sneaking
away and fucking my brains out."
Howling in fury, Drusilla
lunged for Willow only to be brought up short by the invisible barrier.
"Willow," Spike
hissed.
Frustrated, Drusilla
swung around and attacked Spike, driving him down beneath her onto the stone
patio. Her fingernails raked his face as she shoved her knee into his groin.
Groaning in pain, Spike
tried to push her off of him, but she was intent on making him hurt. Her knee
ground into his tender parts and she hissed, ripping at his shirt. As her nails
dug into his chest, Spike finally managed to fling her off of him.
Staggering to his feet,
blood dripping from several minor wounds on his face and chest, Spike tried to
ignore the pain in his cock and balls and stay upright.
Drusilla rose to her
feet, shoulders heaving, eyes blazing. "You have taken her as a
lover?" she hissed in disbelief.
"...Yes."
"I'll kill her, rip
out her heart, eat her eyes." Turning, she flung herself against the
barrier, pounding on it as she had on the glass before.
Frightened, Willow
stumbled backwards, her eyes wide as she watched the fury cross the vampiress'
face. "You were a present, a thing to be used and drained."
"Drusilla, calm
down," Spike said sternly.
She ignored him, growling
into the room. "Come out little bitch, come out and we'll play. You play
nice games with my Spike. Come play with me."
"Um...no
thanks."
Drusilla howled and spun
around, lashing out and backhanding Spike. He held his ground and reached for
her. After a brief struggle during which she called him every foul name she
could remember in at least four different languages, Spike managed to pin her
arms behind her back and shove her against the barrier. Because she was in the
way, he didn't go falling through.
"Drusilla, shut
up."
At his harsh, angry tone,
her eyes snapped to his and her demon retreated. Tears filled her eyes as her
mood shifted. "Why? Why go to her? I would have loved you, nice and
sweetly."
The healing scratches on
his face itched and he scowled, his own anger rising. "You were too busy
fucking daddy."
As his anger hit her,
Drusilla began to cry softly. Spike released her and she crumpled to the ground,
wrapping her arms around his legs. "I've been naughty, so naughty. I'm
sorry. Please, please forgive me. I love you, not Angel, but...but he's my daddy
and I have to...he makes me...please believe me."
Listening to the
vampiress sob and beg, Willow frowned and sidled over to the door. She flicked a
glance up at Spike's tight face and saw the anger, pain and frustration in his
expression.
Instinctively, she knew
that he wasn't angry at Drusilla.
Looking down at the
sobbing, broken woman, Willow wrapped her arms around herself and felt a new
emotion enter her--one for which she was totally unprepared. Compassion.
Spike reached down and
lifted Drusilla to her feet. She slumped, trying to go back down, trying to
supplicate herself, as she murmured his name over and over. Rubbing her back
gently, he tried to calm her.
"You hate me,"
she mewled into his bleeding chest. "You hate me for letting my Angel fuck
me. So you found someone new." Fresh tears spilled from her eyes, mingling
with the drying blood to smear his chest and her face.
"I don't hate you,
Dru. Hush now, luv. Everything will be alright."
"You won't leave me,
will you?" Drusilla asked, a pitiful, wistful quality in her voice. "I
couldn't bear it. Never leave me, Spike. Please, please don't hate me." Her
hands slithered around his waist and she clung to him, so incredibly needy.
As he murmured her name
and continued to caress her, Spike looked over her head at Willow.
Willow watched them
carefully, cautiously, unsure of what to do or how to feel. She met Spike's eyes
and saw the bleakness there.
Were they empty because
of Drusilla or because of her?
Finally Drusilla quieted
down and pulled back from Spike, her eyes downcast. "Will you punish me
now?" she asked softly, wiping the bloody smears from her pale cheeks.
"No," he
replied patiently. He never said yes, though she always asked after she angered
him.
Drusilla nibbled on her
lower lip, then turned and looked at Willow. Her shoulders straightened and her
head came up. "He doesn't need you anymore."
"Dru."
She ignored the
exasperation in Spike's voice and continued. "So, you'll have to find a
human lover because Spike's all mine."
The strange compassion
fled and Willow glared angrily at the pouting brunette. "Maybe you should
ask him what he wants."
Drusilla gave her a lusty
grin. "I know what he wants. I've known for dozens and dozens of years.
You, little mouse, cannot possibly satisfy him. Now that he's well and I'm well,
we can resume our life together. Maybe some night we'll come and eat you for
dinner."
"That's enough,
Drusilla," Spike said sharply, grabbing her shoulder and turning her to
face him. "Go home."
Drusilla pouted and
whined, "You can't still want her. She's so...human and smelly and warm and
squishy." A crafty look entered her eyes. "Or, maybe you just want to
eat her all up yourself."
"I'm not going to
eat her. I need to talk to her."
"No." She
stamped her foot. "I will not share you with another female, not a vampire
and certainly not a human."
"Yes you will,"
Spike demanded strongly, his hand tightening on her upper arm. "Now go home
and I will join you shortly."
Another whining sound
came from Drusilla, then she pulled away and shoved him aside to stomp past him.
"And don't tell
Angel I can walk."
"Why not?" she
threw angrily over her shoulder.
"Because I would be
very displeased."
Drusilla stopped and
turned slowly, her shoulders slumping. She lifted sad eyes to his and nibbled on
her lip again. "I won't tell. I...I don't want you to be angry with me. I
just...don't want to share."
"I'm not angry, luv.
Go home and I'll be there shortly."
"Will you dance with
me?" she asked wistfully.
Spike gave her a brief
smile and nodded. "Maybe a nice waltz, luv."
Smiling happily, Drusilla
skipped away from the house.
As soon as she was out of
sight, Spike turned back towards Willow. There was a look of utter devastation
on her face. As he walked towards her, she backed up, unable to meet his eyes.
Finally, she sat down hard on the bed and buried her face in her trembling
hands.
"She's insane,"
she whispered.
"Yes," he
answered tiredly, closing the doors and sitting back down in the chair.
"Will she...try to
hurt me?"
"No." Spike was
completely confident in his ability to control Drusilla.
Willow gave him a
disbelieving look and a shudder of fear rolled through her. Wrapping her blanket
around herself, she huddled, staring at her knees. "You want me...to share
you with her."
"It's the only way,
luv."
Her answer came out dull
and lifeless. "Don't call me that."
Spike sighed in
frustration. "I'm not ready for the wanker to find out that I can walk, so
I'm going to have to keep a close eye on her. She won't tell on purpose, but you
never know what she'll let slip."
"Fine.
Whatever."
"Willow. This is
bloody important. If Angelus knows that I've been lying to him, that I can walk,
he's going to make the rather accurate assumption that you and I are lovers. I
can't beat him in a fight, luv. And...we both know what will happen if I
die."
Willow paled and began to
shake. "Then go to her," she whispered. "She needs you...and it's
so obvious that you love her."
"I do. And I love
you."
She shook her head
slowly. "I...I can't deal with that now. How can you love two people?
Humans are supposed to be monogamous."
"As you so readily
point out, I'm not human." Spike rose to his feet, digging his hands into
the pockets of his jacket. "This discussion is nowhere near over, but,
you're right, I need to see to Drusilla and you need to rest. I'll come talk to
you tomorrow."
"No...stay
away."
Ignoring her, Spike
turned and silently left the room, slipping into the night.
Willow curled into a ball
and buried her face in her pillow, trying to stop shaking.
When had her life gone so
very wrong?
End Bitter Suite:
Recriminations