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BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Pilot - Part 1
First Draft (January 26, 1996)
by Joss Whedon
TEASER
EXT. BERRYMAN HIGHSCHOOL - NIGHT
The buildings of the affluent Southern California school gleam darkly in the moonlight. We TRACK about
the campus - it's deserted.
CUT TO:
INT. HALL - CONTINUOUS
TRACK through the halls. Nothing.
CUT TO:
INT. CLASSROOMS - CONTINUOUS
Silent.
We track along the wall, past the maps and drawings tacked up on it, past the window, which
SHATTERS in our faces!
It's just a single pane, knocked in by someone's hand. It unlocks the window and slides it up.
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE THE BUILDING - CONTINUOUS
The intruder is a college age BOY, a timid GIRL beside him. She looks about nervously.
GIRL
Are you sure this is a good idea?
BOY
It's a great idea! Come on.
CUT TO:
INT. CLASSOOM - CONTINUOUS
As they climb in. She peers around some more as he shuts the window behind them.
GIRL
You go to school here?
BOY
Used to.
GIRL
It's nice.
BOY
It gets better. Come on.
CUT TO:
INT. BACKSTAGE - A BIT LATER
He leads her through the back of the school theater and
ANGLE: ON STAGE
which is lavishly dressed as an oversized alley set: a huge wooden fence, trash cans, etc. It looks
suspiciously like the set of CATS.
She wanders through it a bit.
GIRL
Wow…
Suddenly the curtains open, revealing the empty auditorium, and the foot lights come up. The boy has
worked all this from the side of the stage. He comes up to her.
BOY
Cool, huh?
GIRL
I'm sure we're not supposed to be here…
He moves to kiss her, but she turns suddenly, real fear crossing her face.
GIRL
What was that?
BOY
What was what?
GIRL
I heard a noise.
BOY
It's nothing.
GIRL
Maybe it's something…
BOY
Maybe it's some Thing…
GIRL
That's not funny.
He looks about them. The place is dark shadowy. She cowers behind him.
BOY
Hello…?
Silence
BOY
There's nobody here.
GIRL
Are you sure?
BOY
I'm sure.
GIRL
Okay…
She bares HORRIBLE FANGS and BURIES them in his neck.
BLACKOUT.
CREDITS.
ACT ONE
EXT. BERRYMAN HIGHSCHOOL - MORNING
A day as bright and colorful as the night was black and eerie. Students pour in before first bell, talking,
laughing. They could be from anywhere in America, but for the extremity of their dress and the esoteric
mania of their slang. This is definitely So Cal.
We see definite grouping here: surfers, jocks, etc. One small group of grungily clad girls makes a path
through the rest, parting them like the red sea. Nobody gets too near them.
As we TRACK through the mass of kids, we pick up snatches of conversations:
Two guys:
GUY
My parents grounded me! It's so not fair.
OTHER GUY
You should sue.
GUY
No way. My dad's lawyer is way better than mine.
Two girls:
GIRL
So I ordered a halfcaf mochachino with nonfat milk, and the guy brings me a cup of coffee!
OTHER GIRL
What's that all about?
ANGLE: A SKATEBOARD
Weaving along the road. On it is XANDER, dressed with the shaggy indifference common to
skateboarders. He is bright, funny, and will one day be suave and handsome. Till that day arrives he'll do
the best he can with bright and funny.
He weaves through a thickening mass of students toward the school.
XANDER
Coming through… Coming through…
(as the crowd increases)
Not certain how to stop…
A few people do scatter as he comes up to the side walk, stopping with assured grace. He kicks the board
up with his foot to catch it, only he misses and the board clatters to the ground, along with his books.
Looking around to make sure nobody noticed that part, he bends down to pick them up.
He straightens up to see before him WILLOW. She is shy, bookish and very possibly dressed by her
mother. The intelligence in her eyes and the sweetness of her smile belie a genuine charm that is lost on
the unsubtle highschool mind.
It's certainly lost on Xander, though he brightens considerably to see her.
XANDER
Willow! How're you doing?
WILLOW
Okay.
XANDER
You're so very much the person I wanted to see.
Her excitement at that sentiment is sweetly pathetic, and typically unnoticed.
WILLOW
Really?
XANDER
Yeah. You know, I kind of had a problem with the math.
WILLOW
Which part?
XANDER
The math. Can you help me out third period? Please? Be my study buddy?
WILLOW
Well, what's in it for me?
XANDER
A shiny nickel…
WILLOW
Okay. But you shouldn't be having a problem with it, Xander. Mr. Worth says you never pay attention.
XANDER
I pay attention… Just not to him.
As they enter the building, the camera TRACKS away, again following groups of students.
Two guys:
GUY
No, for the real experience you have to see Tesh live.
OTHER GUY
Really?
GUY
It changed me.
Pass two more students, hucking a frisbee back and forth, and finally fall into line behind the feet of a girl,
a girl walking alone toward the entrance. Come up and around her - hey, stylish outfit - to see her face.
BUFFY SUMMERS is sixteen, just turned. Blonde, pretty, a good portion of her deceptively insouciant
face hidden behind the bubble she's just blown. It pops as she looks around, getting her bearings in an
unfamiliar place.
She enters the building.
CUT TO:
INT. MAIN BUILDING - CONTINUOUS
She looks about again, a few students pushing past her. She goes left, away from the bustle of the kids,
toward the administration offices.
She passes HAL the janitor. He mops the floor with an absent, twitchy expression. As she passes:
HAL
You want to live forever?
She turns, slowly.
BUFFY
What?
HAL
I'm gonna live forever, ‘cause I'm invisible. The CIA doesn't know where I'm at. You know what CIA
stands for? It stands for "We're always watching what you're doing you guys". They watch me when I go
to the bathroom.
Beat.
BUFFY
Okay. Gotta go.
She walks off, calmly, avoiding eye contact.
HAL
I'm gonna live forever…
ANGLE: THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE
BOB FLUTIE is stenciled on the frosted glass, right above PRINCIPAL. Buffy pushes the door open to
see a secretary typing by another door. Buffy steps in just as MR FLUTIE comes through the other door.
MR FLUTIE
Mrs. Marowski, what happened to the detention records? I know you did something to them.
(seeing Buffy)
You better get to class if - do I know you?
BUFFY
I'm Buffy Summers…
MR FLUTIE
Yes? Oh! Bunny!
BUFFY
Buffy.
MR FLUTIE
Hey, welcome! Come on in.
He beckons her into:
INT. MR FLUTIE'S OFFICE
Where he dodges the considerable clutter to go around his desk and dig up her file.
MR FLUTIE
Good to have you with us. You nervous? First day jitters?
BUFFY
Well I guess -
MR FLUTIE
You better be nervous, these kids'll eat you alive. I'm just funning you. You're gonna fit right in.
He comes around his desk, opening the door, holding a trashcan under Buffy's chin and talking all at
once.
MR FLUTIE
You know, here at Berryman we have a saying - gum - But it's in Latin and I don't know what the hell it
means. Gum.
Finally understanding, Buffy spits her gum into the trashcan as Mr Flutie calls out the door:
MR FLUTIE
Mrs. Marowski, can I get the schedule for Bitsy Summers -
(it's handed to him)
Thank you very much. Let's see -
Crossing back, sniffing the trashcan -
MR FLUTIE
Spearmint.
(looking at the schedule)
You've got Ms. Ramsey for history first period. She's tough. Cruel but fair, you'll like her.
(hands her the schedule)
It's one the second floor, room 217.
BUFFY
Thank you.
MR FLUTIE
You're gonna do just fine here, Bambi. We don't have a lot of personal rules except no gang colors, no fur
and you already know the part about the gum. As far as conduct is concerned, well, I'm confident there
won't be any incidents like at your old school -
BUFFY
Mr. Flutie, you have my word. The last thing in the world I want is trouble.
CUT TO:
INT. HALL - CONTINUOUS
Striding through the hall is CORDELIA. Confident, beautiful and relentlessly cruel, she never goes
anywhere without a babbling posse of hander-ons. Chief among them is HARMONY, her
confidant/whipping girl.
Cordy (as few are permitted to call her) stops by her locker, the Cordettes milling about her. A
good-looking boy passes.
BOY
Hey, Cordelia, you going to the Bronze tonight?
CORDELIA
Not with you…
She watches him pass.
HARMONY
I thought you liked him.
CORDELIA
Harmony, please. He's such a bongwater.
HARMONY
But we're going tonight, right?
A CORDETTE
Who's playing?
HARMONY
Dingoes Ate My Baby.
A CORDETTE
They rock!
Xander approaches, pulls some stuff out of his locker nearby. Another girl passes, Cordelia offering:
CORDELIA
Wow, grunge! What a new look!
(to Harmony)
I know plaid is over - I just can't tell what's coming next.
XANDER
(leaning in)
I don't know about you, but I'm scared!
CORDELIA
Excuse me, was I talking to you? Has any girl ever talked to you of her own free will? I don't think so.
XANDER
You know, I've often wondered why that is.
CORDELIA
Got a mirror?
She strides off, posse in tow. Xander hides the hurt fairly well.
XANDER
(call after them)
Check back tomorrow, I'll have that devastating comeback ready…
He watches them a moment, somewhat defeated. Turns to go and BUMPS right into Buffy. Her bag falls
to the floor, stuff spilling out everywhere.
She kneels down, starts scooping it back in. Xander helps h er.
XANDER
Sorry about that.
BUFFY
It's okay. I wasn't paying attention.
XANDER
Here you go.
BUFFY
Thanks.
She stuffs it all in her bag and hurries to class. He watches her. It's fair to say he's smitten.
He notices something on the floor, bends down to get it. Calls after her:
XANDER
Oh, hey, you forgot your…
(looks at the thing in his hand)
…stake…
But she's too far off to hear. He looks at the wooden stake, puzzled.
CUT TO:
INT. HISTORY CLASS - CONTINUOUS
Students mill about before second bell, settling, chatting. In the middle sits Cordelia, holding court with
her friends.
At the front of the class is KATE RAMSEY, 10th grade history teacher. Youngish, sweet tempered, but
no pushover. She unloads her books, ignoring the pre-class cacophony.
Willow enters, passes Cordy on her way to a seat.
CORDELIA
Willow, nice dress. Good to know you've finally seen the softer side of Sears.
Willow sheepishly takes her place as the Cordettes all crack up. The second bell rings.
MR RAMSEY
All right, settle. Who are we missing?
The door opens and Buffy sticks her head in.
MR RAMSEY
Can I help you?
BUFFY
Is this Eurocentric History?
MS RAMSEY
Oh, you're the new student! Come on in.
Buffy does, handing her schedule to Ms. Ramsey.
Xander bustles in after, sitting near the back. He leans forward to Willow, never taking his eyes off Buffy.
XANDER
Who is that girl?
WILLOW
She's new.
XANDER
(admiringly)
She's new and improved…
Ms. Ramsey hands Buffy back her schedule.
MS RAMSEY
Yep, you're in the right place. You can sit there, there's a desk…
(as Buffy puts her stuff down)
Kids, we're up by one starting today. This is Buffy.
(to Buffy)
Do you want come up here and introduce yoursef to the class, or is that your personal vision of Hell?
BUFFY
No, that's okay.
(to the kids)
I'm Buffy Summers… I went to Hemery High in the Valley until… I didn't. Let's see, I'm… a girl…
STUDENT
Are you sure?
BUFFY
Mostly.. Uh, I think your school is really pretty, except I'm fairly wigged by the whole stucco experience
in the lobby. I hope you're not all dread brainiacs that I can't keep up with, ‘cause I know this school has
a really good rep and I'm nervous about that.
MS RAMSEY
Anything you want to tell us about yourself? Besides that you're a girl?
BUFFY
I'm sixteen - duh - I'm a Sagittarius with my moon in Gemini which means nothing, as far as I can tell.
But my mom seems to think it explains a lot. I don't eat meat, except for cheeseburgers. I think Jill Sobule
should be leader of the free world.
STUDENT
Turn-ons?
Assorted titters at that.
MS RAMSEY
(shoots him a look)
Any hobbies? What do you do in your spare time?
ANGLE: XANDER
Holding the stake, waiting for a reply.
Buffy almost looks uncomfortable; there's ground here she doesn't care to tread.
BUFFY
Uh, shopping. Largely. Shopping and ancillary shopping activities such as browsing.
MS RAMSEY
You should fit right in here.
CORDELIA
It's like we're sisters.
STUDENT
Any dark secrets?
She pauses, looks down.
BUFFY
For a while I, um, I thought David Hasselhoff was cute. You should probably know that right off.
Silence. People look at each other uncomfortably. Finally…
XANDER
Knightrider or Baywatch?
BUFFY
Oh, Knightrider.
A general murmur of acceptance. Ms. Ramsey smiles. She likes this girl pretty well already.
MS RAMSEY
All right. Why don't we learn some history, while we're here.
CUT TO:
INT. SAME - AFTER CLASS
The bell is ringing as the students swarm out of their chairs. Cordelia approaches Buffy.
CORDELIA
Hey. I'm Cordelia.
BUFFY
Hey.
CORDELIA
After careful consideration we've decided that you're okay and we give you leave to hang with us.
BUFFY
(smiling)
That's a relief.
CORDELIA
I knew it would be. So listen, tonight everyone's going to the Bronze. You should show.
BUFFY
The Bronze?
CORDELIA
It's a club.
HARMONY
It's like three blocks from campus. Across the park.
CORDELIA
It should be rageous. Quality bands and a total absence of designer coffee.
BUFFY
Gracious thanks, I'll try to show.
CORDELIA
Good.
Exeunt Cordettes, after most everyone. Buffy packs up the rest of her stuff as well, as Mr. Ramsey calls
her to the front of the class.
MS RAMSEY
Buffy, this is Willow.
WILLOW
Hi.
BUFFY
Hi.
MS RAMSEY
She's the person to talk to to get caught up. She's my best student, or she would be if she ever spoke in
class.
WILLOW
I plan to. I'm gearing up.
BUFFY
(to Ms. Ramsey)
Thanks.
MS RAMSEY
I'll see you tomorrow.
Buffy and Willow start off together.
WILLOW
That's a really great outfit.
BUFFY
Thanks. I'm jamming on your dress.
WILLOW
Oh, no. It's dorky. I'm aware that it's dorky.
BUFFY
Not a jot! It's lush. Laura Ashley is definitely back.
WILLOW
You think?
BUFFY
She's back, and this time it's personal. See, they mated her with the Home Depot guy, and that's how we
got Martha Stewart.
WILLOW
Ohhh…
ANGLE: CORDY
Watching the two girls from across the quad.
CORDELIA
Ooh, hanging with Willow. The judges are gonna have to take off points for that.
ANGLE: WILLOW AND BUFFY
Willow points at a building a ways away.
WILLOW
That's the library. A lot of the stuff is there and you can get the rest at the school store.
ANGLE: THE LIBRARY
A beautiful old building with a somewhat musty air.
Buffy looks at it and a shadow runs across her expression. She knits her brows briefly, then lets it go.
BUFFY
It's beautiful.
WILLOW
It's the oldest building on campus.
BUFFY
Well, thanks.
WILLOW
I'll see you at lunch.
Buffy starts toward the building as Willow goes off in the other direction.
As the Library looms at her, Buffy's distracted expression returns. Something about it bothers her.
A figure APPEARS right next to her - she starts slightly to see Xander at her side.
XANDER
Hi. I'm Xander. You bumped into me…
BUFFY
Oh, hi.
XANDER
So, I've been thinking it over -
(produces the stake)
and all I can figure is that you're building a really little fence.
He hands her the stake. She looks at it glumly.
BUFFY
Oh.
XANDER
You dropped it. I didn't get a chance to - what's it for?
BUFFY
Nothing.
XANDER
Come on, you can trust me with anything except money.
BUFFY
It's nothing. It's the past.
She throws it hard, out of frame. Watches it sail for a moment before turning to Xander.
BUFFY
And you can't live in the past.
She passes him, entering the library. As he watches her go, puzzled, we see the stake thirty yards behind
him sail right into a garbage can.
CUT TO:
INT. THE LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS
Buffy enters, looking about her.
The library looks old, suffused with a musty elegance the rest of the campus does not share. There are
two stories, the second a mezzanine that ends with a brass balcony, a spiral staircase winding down to the
ground level. Stacks on both levels. Hundreds of books, the shelves stretching back almost out of sight in
the dim light. Opposite the balcony, a stained glass window stretches up a full story, tinting the room's soft
glow.
The place is empty. Tables and cubicles sit unmanned between the window and the stacks.
Still vaguely unsettled, Buffy wanders into the stacks, running her hand along the books. Toward the back
they become increasingly old - some look quite valuable.
She pulls one out, flips some pages. Engravings flip by us, old and vaguely horrible, not unlike Gustav
Dore's visions of Hell.
As Buffy looks it over, the camera CIRCLES her to reveal a man standing right behind her.
He is of middling age, and his rumpled, tweedy suit suggests he belongs here. His accent, when he speaks,
is British. His name is GILES.
GILES
Can I help you?
She spins, her expression of brief fright and hardening to irritation.
BUFFY
God, sneak up on a girl why don't you?
GILES
I'm sorry. You seemed somewhat engrossed. You are interested in the occult?
BUFFY
What? No. No. I just like pretty pictures.
GILES
I see.
BUFFY
I was actually looking for some history textbooks; I'm new.
GILES
Miss Summers.
BUFFY
Good call. I guess I'm the only new kid.
GILES
You are. I'm Mr. Giles, the librarian.
BUFFY
Great. So you have, uh, Sutton-Smith's "Twentieth Century Perspectives-"
GILES
I think I know what you're after.
He leads her to the check-out desk by the door. His office can be seen behind it.
He pulls a book out and slides it toward Buffy. Huge, leatherbound, with a single word set in gild on the
cover.
"VAMPYR".
Real concern floods Buffy's face, along with understanding. She steps back from the desk, eyes on the
librarian.
BUFFY
That's not what I'm looking for.
GILES
Are you quite sure?
BUFFY
I'm way sure.
GILES
My mistake.
He replaces the book under the counter.
GILES
So, what is it you said -
BUFFY
Forget it.
She backs out of the library without another word.
Giles watches her go.
CUT TO:
INT. WOMYNS' LOCKER ROOM - AFTERNOON
Two GIRLS approach their lockers, talking. They begin undressing (just shoes and coats and stuff. Get
your mind out of the gutter.)
GIRL #1
The new kid? Her mom got some cool job, so they moved.
GIRL #2
Well, the chatter in the caf is that she got kicked out and that's why her mom had to get a new job.
GIRL #1
Neg.
GIRL #2
Pos.
(opens her locker)
She was starting fights.
GIRL #1
(opening hers)
Negly! She's sporting a hardcore Mizrah i. No one starts a fight in that outfit. If I could get my hands on -
Something FLIES OUT of the locker at her! She SCREAMS as the dead body of the boy from the
opening collapses on her, eyes horribly wide.
ANGLE: FROM ABOVE
The body sprawls out on the floor as the girl steps back, screaming for all she's worth.
BLACKOUT.
ACT TWO
EXT. CAMPUS - MIDDAY
Lunchtime. Buffy is walking with Xander, as he points out the fine points of campus social life.
XANDER
We're probably not much different than the kids at Hemery. You know.
They pass a group of boys in the gangsta regalia, talking.
XANDER
Those are the Howsers. They'd be genuine hardcore gangsta's, except for the "upperclass white guy"
stigma. Total wannabe's, but they're okay.
He points to a group of dimwitted surfdudes.
XANDER
The Topanga inbreeds.
(to one, as they pass)
Hey, surf's always up somewhere in the world.
The inbreeds all stop to OOOOH at this pearl of wisdom as Xander and Buffy continue on.
BUFFY
Yeah, it's pretty much the same one my side of the hill.
XANDER
Well, try your hand.
She looks over a group of kids talking animatedly.
BUFFY
Let's see, that would have to be the theatre club.
XANDER
Well spotted. What gave it away?
BUFFY
They're always way gestury.
(gesturing wildly)
Would you like some more salt?
XANDER
(also gesturing)
Thank you for the salt.
(normal, pointing elsewhere)
And them?
BUFFY
Film club?
XANDER
(nodding)
The li'l auteurs. They spend their time deciding that every movie is an existential meditation on Freudian
sexuality.
BUFFY
Even "Muppets Take Manhattan"?
XANDER
Especially "Muppets Take Manhattan".
Ah! The Dirty Girls.
They are approaching the group of grungy girls we saw earlier. As before, everyone gets out of their way.
BUFFY
Why do you call them the -
(as they pass)
Oh! Wow.
XANDER
They have views on hygiene. It's pretty intense.
They see Cordy and her friends approaching from a distance. As they do, a student runs urgently by them
to a nearby group. All they overhear is:
STUDENT
Have you guys heard? They found some guy -
BUFFY
(to Xander)
What about Cordelia and her friends - Do you have a name for them?
XANDER
(bitterly)
Oh yeah.
BUFFY
So which group are you affiliated with?
XANDER
Well, I've applied to a few, but it doesn't look good. Although I still haven't heard back from the Dirty
Girls…
They run into Willow, who looks a bit upset.
XANDER
There you are! I was escorting Buffy to you; I thought she might get lost -
BUFFY
(interrupting him)
What's wrong?
WILLOW
You didn't hear?
BUFFY
Hear what?
WILLOW
In the Womens' locker room. They found someone.
XANDER
And?
WILLOW
I mean, they found someone. I mean someone --
CORDELIA
--dead.
She has arrived, with her posse. Buffy takes a moment to register the information.
BUFFY
Dead?
CORDELIA
Way dead.
XANDER
So not just a little dead then.
CORDELIA
Don't you have an elsewhere to be?
BUFFY
Are you guys sure?
WILLOW
I heard it from Ms. Ramsey. He was in a locker.
HARMONY
I heard he used to go here, and that it was a gang thing.
WILLOW
You think he was… killed by someone?
CORDELIA
No, I'm sure it was natural causes. He crawled into a locker to die of old age.
HARMONY
I hope the news comes to do interviews.
BUFFY
Uh, I gotta book. I'll see you guys later.
She takes off. Willow watches her, a bit puzzled.
Behind Willow, we see a student telling the Theatre Club, all of whom react with enormous gestures.
CUT TO:
INT. WOMENS' LOCKER ROOM - LATER
The body has been covered with a blanket. Mr. Flutie is talking quietly with Ms. Ramsey.
MR FLUTIE
I think it's Chris Boal. He was here before your time.
MS RAMSEY
I just can't believe it.
MR FLUTIE
Just tell the kids gym is cancelled. We'll have an assembly in the morning. Do you think that's good? An
assembly?
MS RAMSEY
I do.
MR FLUTIE
I'll wait here for the police. Someone did call the police, right? Oh. I did. Okay.
She goes off. He looks back at the body, then steps out.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE LOCKER ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Mr. Flutie closes the door quietly. He turns to see Buffy before him.
MR FLUTIE
Bambie! Uh, Betty - dyeh - Betty. Wilma?
BUFFY
Buffy.
MR FLUTIE
I'm so sorry about this; I know it's your first day. But let me just say that we very seldom - we almost
never - have dead kids stuffed in lockers. In fact I have a strict policy about that -
BUFFY
(pointing at the door)
Is he still in there?
He nods. As he continues to babble on, Buffy knits her brow thinking.
MR FLUTIE
I know this is hard, it's not the welcome I was planning for you. I know you're upset, confused, you
probably have that thing, like when you burp and then you get a little vomitty taste in your mouth, but I
would like to point out that the boy was not currently a student. The importat thing is we're all here for
you and if there's anything you need -
BUFFY
Can I look at the body?
MR FLUTIE
Ah - whah - who? What?
BUFFY
I think I should look at the body. Don't you?
MR FLUTIE
Do I?
BUFFY
Well, you know, it's like you say, I'm having kind of an emotional wiggins right now -
MR FLUTIE
But I think you'd be more upset - it's a very painful thing -
BUFFY
(craning her neck to see in)
But I think I should embrace the pain -
MR FLUTIE
I have to respect the boy's dignity. Also he's getting stinky.
BUFFY
Mr. Flutie. Can I call you Bob?
MR FLUTIE
No -
BUFFY
Bob, I could deal with this on a superficial level by talking it over with the reporters that are probably on
their way -
MR FLUTIE
Reporters? But -
BUFFY
But Bobby -
MR FLUTIE
Bambi -
BUFFY
Bob. I need closure. You know. I need to be alone with my grief. And the dead guy.
MR FLUTIE
Well, okay. For a minute. Do you really think there'll be reporters?
BUFFY
I wouldn't worry about it.
She stands by the door. Reluctant and confused, Mr. Flutie opens it for her.
MR FLUTIE
Just for a minute.
BUFFY
I'm embracing the pain.
CUT TO:
INT. WOMYNS' LOCKER ROOM - CONTINUOUS
The door closes behind her as Buffy approaches the body laid out under a blanket.
She hesitates, sure she's not going to like what she sees. Pulls the blanket from his head and shoulders.
ANGLE: HIS NECK
Has two big ol' bite marks in it.
What floods onto Buffy's face is not horror, but grim frustration. She stares down at the body another
moment, nearly seething.
BUFFY
Oh, great!
CUT TO:
INT LIBRARY - MOMENTS LATER
Buffy strides back in, attitude high.
BUFFY
Okay? What's the sitch?
She spies Giles up on the second level and starts up toward him.
GILES
Sorry?
BUFFY
What is the sitch here? You heard about the dead guy, right? The dead guy in the locker?
GILES
Yes.
BUFFY
Well, it's the weirdest thing. He's got two little little holes in his neck and all his blood's been drained. Isn't
that bizarre? Aren't you just going, "Ooooh…."?
GILES
I was afraid of this.
BUFFY
Well, I wasn't! It's my first day. I was afraid that I'd be behind in all the classes, that I wouldn't make any
friends, that I'd have last month's hair. I didn't think there would be vampires on campus. And I don't
care.
GILES Then why are you here?
She's stopped for a moment.
BUFFY
To tell you that I don't care. Which I don't, and… have now told you. So bye.
She starts down the spiral staircase, maybe a little unsatisfied with her exit. Giles leans out over the railing
as she hits the floor.
GILES
You cannot escape your destiny!
BUFFY
Just watch me.
GILES
Buffy!
BUFFY
(turning)
Why can't you people just leave me alone?
GILES
Because you are the Slayer.
She stops. No comeback just now. He starts down after her, solemnly intoning:
GILES
Into every generation, a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One.
BUFFY
(a groan:)
Oh, you're gonna do the speech, too?
She finishes along with him:
BUFFY & GILES
One born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires -
BUFFY
To stop the spread of their evil blah blah blah I've heard it, okay?
GILES
I don't understand this attitude. You've accepted your duty, you've slain vampires before -
BUFFY
Well I have both been there and done that. And I'm moving on. Growing as a person, watch it happen.
New school, new life, and baby's got a new pair of shoes.
GILES
What does that mean?
BUFFY
Not really sure. I think it's a metaphor. But in the blunt way of leaving, I'm laterized. Bye.
GILES
You have no idea what's going on, do you?
BUFFY
There's vampires. Big johnson. You kill ‘em.
GILES
You think vampires are the only threat we face here?
BUFFY What do you mean?
GILES
"There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
She tries to move past him and h pulls a book off the shelf, hands it to her. It resembles the vampire book
he showed her earlier. He continues to pull more off, piling them up in her arms.
GILES
Werewolves. Zombies. Ghouls. Succubi, incubi, everything you ever dreaded under your bed and told
yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real.
BUFFY What, did you send away for the Time Life series?
GILES
Uh, yes.
She turns one over: TIME LIFE is one the spine.
BUFFY
Did you get the free phone?
GILES
The calendar.
BUFFY
Cool.
(reads)
"Zombies."
She suddenly remembers her agenda, unloads the pile back onto Giles.
BUFFY
Okay, first of all, I'm a vampire Slayer. And secondly I'm retired.
GILES
But your work is not finished.
BUFFY
My work? I'm sixteen! I don't have work. I have homework.
GILES
And you haven't been properly trained.
BUFFY
Which is why you're here.
GILES
I am a Watcher. A Watcher serves by finding the Slayer, leading her on her path. It's my destiny to guide
you.
BUFFY
Yeah, well the last guy they sent to guide me - you should see what happened to him.
GILES
I know all about it.
BUFFY
(truly upset)
You don't know anything about it! You don't know what it's like! I was perfectly happy, I was Cindy Lou
Hoo just singing through my life when everything exploded in my face. Vampires, which are only
supposed to be in cheesy movies, move into town. I find out I'm the Slayer, the only one in the world,
and I gotta stop them. And I do. I train, I hunt. It becomes my whole life. I can do things no other kid can
and that's fairly lush. I'm into that. I kill the vampires, good for me, and when it's all over what's left? My
grades are crap, my friends all think I'm bizarro and won't come near me, and I get thrown out of school
for making trouble. It's not exactly a medal and a book deal, you know what I mean?
GILES
I do.
BUFFY
I just want to be like everybody else
(quietly)
Like anybody else.
GILES
(quietly)
But you're not.
BUFFY
Well, I'm gonna be.
GILES
(suddenly harsh)
How can you worry so much about your social calendar when there are lives at stake? That's pretty damn
superficial. No wonder you were such a substandard slayer -
BUFFY
Don't you call me subsandwich! I kicked undead butt!
GILES
Headstrong, irresponsible, it's just like they warned me -
BUFFY
Hey!
GILES
It's because you never finished your training.
BUFFY
I did things different, sure, but I'm the best Slayer you'll ever see! You'll never find anyone as good as me
and you know it!
Beat. She realizes where he's taken her.
BUFFY
Golly. I walked right into that, didn't I.
GILES
Yes. It was kind of exciting.
BUFFY
Well, it doesn't change anything.
GILES
Sooner or later you're going to have to face this threat. I want you to be ready when you do.
BUFFY
I'll keep my eyes open.
GILES
You'll have to do more than that. Think about what I've said. I'll be in touch.
BUFFY
I'll sit by the phone every minute.
She starts to exit.
GILES
Buffy, remember that you are the Slayer. It is a great gift.
BUFFY
Yeah? You think I could return it for store credit?
She leaves. Giles watches her go. After a moment, he retreats into his office, shaking his head.
ANGLE: IN THE STACKS
A shadowly figure moves about back there, emerges into the light. It's Xander, excitement, amusement
and disbelief dancing about his face.
XANDER
Oohhhhkaaaay….
BLACKOUT.
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Pilot - Part 2
First Draft (January 26, 1996)
by Joss Whedon
ACT THREE
INT. BUFFY'S ROOM - AFTERNOON
She is in the agony of outfit choosage, getting ready to go out. She has two, one scanty, the other
somewhat plain. She holds them alternatively in front of her, looking in the mirror.
BUFFY
(holding up on)
Hi! I'm an enormous slut!
(the other)
Hi! Would you like a copy of the Watchtower?
(throws them both down)
I used to be so good at this…
From behind the door, we hear her MOTHER's voice.
MOTHER (OS)
Are you going out tonight, honey?
BUFFY
Yeah, Mom. I'm going to a club.
MOTHER (OS)
Will there be boys there?
BUFFY
No, Mom; it's a nun club.
MOTHER (OS)
Well, just be careful.
BUFFY
I will.
She crosses to her dresser.
BUFFY
(to herself)
I guess I better take some protection…
She rummages through a drawer of toiletries. Instead of a condom, she pulls out an ornate cross. Slips it
in her purse.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE BRONZE - NIGHT
A decent crowd mills aimlessly around the joint, highschool students and older. The place has an
appealingly dive-y earthiness; no waiting in line for the bouncer to decide whether you're cool or not.
Those that are in line wait only to pay the four bucks and get their hands stamped if they're old enough to
drink.
Buffy moves her way up the line, scanning about for a familiar face. She doesn't find one. As she is let in
we
CUT TO:
INT. THE BRONZE - CONTINUOUS
It's dark, crowded and noisy. A fairly thrashsome band holds forth on stage, blasting the kind of music
that would cause major moshing in a rowdier crowd. Bars at either end, and a balcony ringing the place
with tables for two.
Buffy makes her way through, still looking about. A good looking guy spies her and waves, smiling.
GUY
Hey!
Buffy smiles vaguely, waving back. A moment before she realizes he's waving to a guy right behind her.
She attempts to turn her wave into fixing her hair, looking embarrassed.
More wandering. She bumps into one of the students from her history class. They nod vaguely at each
other.
BUFFY
Hi. Uh, have you seen Cordelia?
STUDENT
What?
BUFFY
Do you know Cordelia?
STUDENT
Haven't seen her.
BUFFY
Thought she might - she said she was gonna be here.
The student nods, and the conversation fizzles completely.
Buffy watches the band for a moment when she is suddently accosted by the hulking figure of MURPH,
a relentlessly party-minded jock.
MURPH
Hey, you're the new chick! Cool!
BUFFY
Buffy. Hi.
MURPH
I'm Mike Murphy. They call me Murph. The Murph man!
From another corner, a fellow football player brays:
FOOTBALL GUY
Murph!
MURPH
Whoah!
Having exchanged pleasantries, he turns is attention back to Buffy.
MURPH
What's your name?
BUFFY
It's still Buffy.
MURPH
You're a hotty.
BUFFY
Thanks.
MURPH
You're a Hottentot! I feel the earth move under my feet. You like this band?
BUFFY
Uh -
MURPH
They're cool.
(yells at the band)
You suck!
Buffy looks to move on, but she's kind of pinned in the corner, right under the balcony.
MURPH
You want a brugle? I got stamped with my bro's I.D.
BUFFY
Passage, thanks.
MURPH
No, you gotta party a brugle, you're my Hottentot!
BUFFY
Really. I'll Pasa doble.
MURPH
(sings)
I've ben waiting so long
To be where I'm going
In the sunshine of your loooooove….
BUFFY
(to herself, abject)
Take me now, lord.
MURPH
There's the waitress. Hey! Hey! Serving Wench!
As he turns away from Buffy to call out, Buffy grabs the railing above her head. With impossible strength
and grace, she swings herself up over the rail onto the balcony, unseen by anyone.
Murph turns back, is completely confused by Buffy's absence.
MURPH
There was a girl! I know there was!
ANGLE: BUFFY
Leaning over the railing, watching the band. Happy to be alone - until Giles leans out on the railing next to
her. He also looks out at the band, not at her.
GILES
Impressive. Not wildly subtle…
BUFFY
So, you like to party with the students? Isn't that kind of skanky?
GILES
(witheringly)
Right. This is me having fun.
(looking out on stage)
Watching Clown-hair prance about is hardly my idea of a party. I'd much prefer to be home with a cup of
bovril and a good book.
BUFFY
You need a personality, STAT.
GILES
I'm here because this is the likeliest place for a vampire to appear. Dark, crowded, full of ripe subjects.
To a vampire, this is Burger King.
Giles digs in his pocket, produces a flask and a roughly carved stake.
GILES
I want you to take these. Holy water, and this.
He hands them to her. She looks at the stake critically - and amused.
BUFFY
What is this?
GILES
Well, it's a stake.
BUFFY
Yeah. You whittle this puppy yourself?
GILES
It's not good?
BUFFY
No, it's great. Not stylin', per se…
GILES
But it's sturdy - it's cherrywood -
BUFFY
I could get a splinter from this.
ANGLE: THE MURPH
Clutching his beer in maudlin reverie.
MURPH
Maybe she was just a crazy dream…
ANGLE: BUFFY AND GILES
In mid-conversation
BUFFY
I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have fluffy bunny feelings for them. I'm just not
gonna get way extracurricular with it. If I run into one, sure…
GILES
But will you be ready? There's so much you don't know, about them and about your own powers. Can
you tell me if there is a vampire in this building?
BUFFY
Maybe?
GILES
You should know. Without looking, without thinking. Even through this mass and this din you should be
able to sense them. Try. Reach out with your mind.
She looks down at the mass of kids on the floor. Furrows her brow.
GILES
You have to hone your senses, focus until the energy washes over you, till you can feel every particle of -
BUFFY
There's one.
Giles stops, nonplussed.
GILES
What? Where?
BUFFY
(pointing)
Down there. Talking to that girl.
ANGLE: THEIR POV
In the corner stands a good-looking young man, talking to a girl we can't really see.
GILES
But you don't know -
BUFFY
Oh, please. Look at his jacket. He's got the sleeves rolled up. And the torn shirt… Deal with that outfit for
a moment.
GILES
It's dated?
BUFFY
It's carbon dated! Trust me: only someone who's been living underground for ten years would think that
was the look. Well, here we go…
She starts down toward the floor. Giles looks fairly bemused.
GILES
But… you didn't hone…
ANGLE: THE VAMPIRE
Is leading the girl out the door by the stage. Still we cannot see her clearly.
Buffy hits the crowded floor, seeing them exit. She makes her way as quickly as possible to the other
side.
Giles tries to follow, but the crowd is too much for him. He cranes his neck to see as Buffy exits.
ANGLE: MURPH
He also sees her exit, starts plowing his way through to her as well.
MURPH
She's real! She's really real!
CUT TO:
INT. BACKSTAGE - CONTINOUS
It's dark here, and somehwat labyrinthine. Buffy moves slowly, cautiously. There is no one about.
A shadow glides past, down the hall. Buffy starts after it. A NOISE behind her and she spins - to see
nothing.
BUFFY
Minion of Hell?
(as to a kitty)
Here, minion…
She's getting a teensy bit wigged. Pulls the stake out of her purse. Keeps going…
BUFFY
Okay… I know you're there, you evil bloodsucking… guy… come on out and I'll send [you] back to the
grave and we'll call it a night, okay?
She turns the corner and he's ON HER! She grabs him, throws him up against the wall, holding him two
feet off the ground -
Well, holding her, actually. Holding Cordelia, who has the same dumbfounded gape that Harmony and
the other girl with them have.
CORDELIA
Excuse me… could you be any weirder? Is there a more weirdness that you could have?
Buffy lets her down, lowering the stake.
HARMONY
God, what is your childhood trauma?
BUFFY
I, uh… uh… sorry… I was just…
CORDELIA
… completely dosed?
BUFFY
No, I …
But she can't come up with anything. Face red with every emotion that makes your face red, she retreats
back the way she came, throwing the stake to the ground.
Cordy and the others are still agape. After a moment, Cordy regains her composure.
CORDELIA
Excuse me. I have to call everyone that I've ever met right now.
CUT TO:
INT. CLUB - CONTINUOUS
Buffy SLAMS the doors open as she strikes back in. Giles stops her right by the door.
GILES
Did you find him?
BUFFY
No!
Murph muscles his way up to her as well, still toting two plastic cups of beer.
MURPH
Hey! Hotty! Check it out, I got you a beer -
(sees Mr. Giles, finishes:)
-- flavored drink.
GILES
(ignoring Murph)
Where did you go? Why did you follow?
BUFFY
I was busy making an idiot of myself in front of my new friends. Oh God, this is such a Nam flashback!
It's my old school all over again. Forget it! Forget you! Forget everything!
MURPH
I don't think you're supposed to talk to school staff that way…
GILES
What about the vampire
BUFFY
It probably wasn't even! I was wrong. Anyway it doesn't matter. Whatever he was, he's long gone by
now.
CUT TO:
EXT. SCHOOL - CONTINUOUS
As we see this sartorially challenged Vampire forcing a window open. The scene mirrors the opening,
except that this boy is no victim.
VAMPIRE
See, I told you we could get in. Come on…
He motions for the girl with him to climb in first. As she approaches the window, looking about nervously,
we see her face for the first time.
It's Willow.
BLACKOUT.
ACT FOUR
EXT. OUTSIDE THE BRONZE - NIGHT
As Buffy come[s] grimly out the door. Xander is heading in - he spies her and approaches.
XANDER
Hey! Buffy! How come you're leaving?
BUFFY
I'm just not in party mode, I guess.
XANDER
Well, don't be a quitter! You just don't know enough people. I'll introduce you around. No one will talk to
me, but they'll probably talk to you…
BUFFY
Thanks, I think I'm sleepybound.
XANDER
Yeah, you're probably tired from all that vampire slaying.
BUFFY
What?
XANDER
I was in the library today and it's the funniest thing, this girl comes in and starts arguing with the school
librarian all about how she's a Slayer and he's a Watcher and it's deep, I mean I couldn't tear myself
away.
BUFFY
You were spying on me!
XANDER
I was checking out books! And hey, it's a library! You're supposed to whisper.
BUFFY
Oh, I hate this whole day!
XANDER
Relax, I'm not gonna tell anyone your dark secret. I'm not even sure what your dark secret is.
BUFFY
That I'm an idiot.
XANDER
Then we should have lots to talk about.
Buffy smiles wryly.
XANDER
Listen, if you don't feel like catching the band, do you want to take a walk or something?
BUFFY
I don't know…
XANDER
We could break into the school. It's really cool. If you go up on top of the gym you can see a lot more
smog. It's a great place to make out, or so they tell me.
BUFFY
That's definitely my cue to book.
XANDER
Oh! I didn't mean that we would - I mean… Bad idea. Too crowded on campus anyway; I think Willow's
there with some loser.
BUFFY
Willow? With who?
XANDER
I didn't know the guy but nice outfit - if you're Lionel Ritchie.
BUFFY
Oh no…
XANDER
Yeah, they'll be dancing on the ceiling any minute now -
She bolts. Takes off toward school with incredible speed, Xander wide-eyed in her wake.
XANDER
What is she…
A moment more and he jumps on his skateboard, starts speeding after her.
ANGLE: MAN ON A MOTORCYCLE
He's just old enough to be called a man - maybe twenty. Handscome and intense, he watches them leave
from the shadows. Thinks a moment, then kicks his cycle to life.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARK - CONTINUOUS
As Buffy tears along, leaping hedges and benches anything else in her way.
CUT TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS
The access door opens and Willow meekly sticks her head out, the vampire right behind.
VAMPIRE
Pretty cool, huh?
WILLOW
Uh, yeah…
He leads her out on stage.
VAMPIRE
Are you ready to perform?
The door slams shut behind them.
CUT TO:
EXT. SCHOOL - CONTINUOUS
As Buffy continues to race toward it, not slowing down at all.
She crosses a street and a moment later Xander zips by on his skateboard. He's making terrific time on
the thing and he still can't keep up with her.
XANDER
Hey, wait up!
She reaches a gate and leaps up, grabbing the top and pulling herself up.
A moment later Xander SLAMS into the gate at top speed.
He shakes it off, pulling himself under the gate as Buffy drops to the ground.
XANDER
Buffy, what's the sitch here?
BUFFY
I gotta find Willow.
XANDER
Why?
BUFFY
She's in danger.
XANDER
Danger? Like "danger" danger?
(suspiciously)
This isn't a vampire issue, is it?
She hands him her purse.
BUFFY
You may need this. Now where would they go?
XANDER
I don't know - there's a few places.
BUFFY
Show me.
They take off.
CUT TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS
Willow is still wandering about the stage, nervous.
WILLOW
I don't usually do this sort of thing.
(quietly)
I don't usually get asked…
(louder)
But I'm having a good time. Where did you say you went to school?
VAMPIRE
Crossroads.
He comes up behind her, starts rubbing her shoulders seductively.
WILLOW
So. Time for some kissing, huh?
VAMPIRE
Relax…
WILLOW
We probably shouldn't even be here. Especially after what happened to that poor boy.
VAMPIRE
He had it coming.
Alarm blooms on Willows face.
WILLOW
What do you mean?
VAMPIRE
Coming here alone at night with a complete stranger - what kind of an idiot would do a thing like that?
She turns to see pure evil grining at her. She steps back.
WILLOW
Oh, God…
VAMPIRE
What's the matter? Don't you wanna snuggle?
CUT TO:
EXT. SCILABS - CONTINUOUS
Buffy races out of one just as Xander catches up to her.
BUFFY
Nothing.
XANDER
They gotta be on top of the gym.
A distant scream rises from the building across the campus.
XANDER
The auditorium!
CUT TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS
The vampire's hand grabs Willow's throat, cutting off her scream.
The vampire bears his fangs.
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE THE AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS
Xander tries a door on the far left, Buffy an identical one on the far right.
XANDER
Locked!
BUFFY
Locked.
She steps back, lifts her leg.
ANGLE: THE DOOR FROM INSIDE
It CRASHES open, the lock splintering off.
ANGLE: OUTSIDE
Buffy enters. Xander watches from his end, then steps back, lifts his leg.
ANGLE: THE OTHER DOOR FROM INSIDE
There is a hollow thud, followed by a particularly piteous
XANDER
Owwwwww…..
CUT TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS
The vampire bites down on the feebly struggling Willow. Blood runs down her shoulder as the vampire
closes his eyes in ecstasy.
The doors at the back of the auditorium FLY open. Buffy steps forward.
BUFFY
Get off of her!
The vampire stops feeding to look up. He smiles.
VAMPIRE
Ohh… Seconds.
Willow takes the moment to wrench herself from his grasp. At that moment, Buffy starts running down
the center aisle, picking up speed, leaping onto the stage and jumping, flipping, soaring with precision right
at him - he struggles with Willow a moment too long, looks up just as Buffy's feet SLAM into his chest.
Both he and Buffy hit the ground on their backs, but she is up in a second, standing over him as he gasps
and clutches his chest.
WILLOW
(incredulous)
Buffy?
BUFFY
Willow, bail.
(to the vampire)
You really shouldn't be here. A vampire
All alone at night - it isn't safe.
VAMPIRE
You got me wrong…
BUFFY
(sarcastically)
Oh, my bad. You're not a vampire?
VAMPIRE
I'm not alone.
At one end of the stage, the GIRL VAMPIRE from the opening steps out of the shadows. At the other
end a disconcertingly BEEFY VAMPIRE mirrors her, and SKINNY VAMPIRE slides down a rope
behind Buffy.
BUFFY
Oops…
CUT TO:
INT. THEATER FOYER - CONTINUOUS
Xander limps in through the door Buffy kicked. He reaches the double doors of the auditorium just as
they swing shut again. He pulls at them fiercely, but they've relocked.
XANDER
Dammit!
He runs to the side to find an other entrace. Turns the corner and runs smack into:
XANDER
AHH!!
HAL
AHH!!
-- Hal the janitor, complete with mop.
HAL
Not allowed here, regulations clearly state, school hours from eight to four -
XANDER
Tell me about it sometime.
And he takes off.
CUT TO:
INT. STAGE - CONTINUOUS
The four nasties start circling Buffy. Willow, for the moment forgotten, is still lying dazed in one corner.
BUFFY
I don't suppose you guys would be sweeties and attack me one at a time?
VAMPIRE
You watch too many movies.
BUFFY
You can never watch too -
They rush her, all four.
Buffy spins, her leg up in a crushing roundhouse kick that connects with two jaws. The girl and Skinny go
down as Beefy grabs Buffy from behind. He bares ‘em and leans in at her neck, but a backwards
headbutt dazes him just as the head vampires comes in at her.
She brings her legs up in a double kick, slamming into the head vampire's jaw and continuing up, flipping
herself all the way over so she is behind Beefy, comes to the ground and lands him a stupefying punch in
the kidneys.
Xander comes in from the wings, stops when he sees the situation.
Hal also runs up, bumping into Xander from behind.
XANDER
AHH!! Stop that, will ya?
BUFFY
Xander, get Willow out of here!
She is fighting even as she is speaking, barely fending off the group.
Xander looks over at Willow, lying all the way across the stage. He takes a step toward her and Beefy
hisses at him menacingly. Showing prodigious fangs. Xander's eyes widen with realization.
XANDER
(calls out)
Willow! Get out of here!
(to Hal)
We need to get help.
HAL
I'm invisible.
XANDER
That's useful…
Vampire rips a large plank off the giant fence from the set, swings at Buffy with it. Hits her solidly, and
she flies back.
Xander grabs Hal's mop, tosses it to Buffy.
HAL
Need a requisition order for that -
Buffy catches the mop and she and Vampire go at it. She's hell with a mop, Buffy is.
Xander races over to Willow, hoists her up.
XANDER
Can you walk?
WILLOW
(dazed, feeling her neck)
Mom was right about boys…
ANGLE: BUFFY
Is holding the four of them off with her mop. She looks at it a moment.
BUFFY
I'm beating you guys with a mop. I really feel there's a pun here I should be making.
The head vampire sees Xander and Willow limping off, shouts to the girl:
VAMPIRE
Get ‘em!
As she goes after the kids, Beefy charges Buffy. She spins, using his momentum to send him flying.
She spars with the head vampire for a bit, finally breaking his board in two. She brings the mop up --
--Beefy leaps at her from behind, seething --
--Buffy slams the mop down on the vampire's head - it breaks into two - Buffy keeps swinging and
brings the broken half under her arm like a swagger stick, the jagged end sticking out the back --
--And Beefy slams right onto it. Falls.
As he hits the ground, his body has already crumbled to dust.
ANGLE: XANDER AND WILLOW
As they are just backstage, the girl drops down in front of them from the scenery.
Smiling, she grabs them both by the necks. Xander lets the purse fall from his hand. The girls looks at
Willow's neck a moment, at the twin trickles of blood.
GIRL
I hate leftovers.
She hurls Willow aside, bringing the futilely struggling Xander closer.
XANDER
The purse…
He indicates it to Willow. She digs out some useless items, landing on a cross. Looks at Xander who
nods.
Standing up unsteadily, she holds it before the girl.
GIRL
You fool! That puny thing can't hurt meOOOWWWWWW!!!
Her boast ends in genuine pain as Willow presses the cross against her face. She lets go of Xander,
clawing at the smoking mark the cross leave there.
XANDER
Way to bluff.
ANGLE: BUFFY
Still held down by her two. Skinny has given up trying to get at her throat. He grabs her leg and goes for
her nice juicy Achilles tendon.
He gets a face full of foot - though not quite in the way he'd intended - and flies back. Buffy extricates
herself from the head vampire's grasp as well, stands facing him, battle stance. Blood trickling from her
nose.
ANGLE: SKINNY
Feels in his mouth.
SKINNY
She knocked a tooth out!
(looking at it)
Oh, it's a fang!
VAMPIRE
Who are you?
BUFFY
(smiling)
Guess what? There's a new Slayer in town.
SKINNY
(eyes wide)
A Slayer…
After a moment he turns tail and absolutely bolts out of the building. Buffy turns to the head vampire.
BUFFY
Better face facts. You've run out of friends… you've run out of time… and nobody likes your outfit.
A beat.
They charge each other, the vampire howling with hate.
CUT TO:
EXT. THEATER - CONTINUOUS
Skinny comes crashing through a window, hits the ground at a dead run. He is twenty feet from the
building when a figure steps in front of him.
It's the man we saw on the motorcycle. Skinny looks up at him, horrified recognition flooding onto his
face.
SKINNY
Angel…
The man puts a stake through Skinny's heart. Skinny's eyes widen as it drives home, then he gently falls
to earth. To dust.
CUT TO:
INT. BACKSTAGE - CONTINUOUS
The girl is thrashing about, knocking things over - she's really pissed. Xander pulls the flask of holy water
out of the purse, looks at it.
XANDER
This better be holy…
Willow is still warding the girl off with the cross. The girls back into Xander, who grabs her, holds her as
he upends the flask into her mouth.
She screams, smoke pouring out of her mouth and nose. Xander and Willow shrink back in horror as she
stands, shaking violently, then falls and crumbles.
WILLOW
Eeeeyyuu.
CUT TO:
ANGLE: ON STAGE
As Buffy is smashed into a bit of scenery. The vampire seems to be getting the better of her, as the two
of them trade crushing blows.
A vicious punch sends her flying, half buries her under garbage bags. The vampire looms over her.
VAMPIRE
Aren't you gonna say something funny? The master taught us to fear Slayers. What a joke.
She plants a wailing kick between his legs. He sags, eyes popwide.
VAMPIRE
Oooh, look at all the spots….
WILLOW
FREEZE!
She bellows it with as much conviction as she can muster. She stands in classic cop stance, arms forward,
butt sticking out, with the cross held before her with two hands like a pistol. It shakes only slightly.
Xander also comes into view, holding the flask at the ready.
WILLOW
I know how to use this… I think…
The vampire looks at the three of them. They're a shaky bunch, but they do have the edge on him. He
looks about for an avenue of escape. He grabs the rope the Skinny one came down on and climbs with
incredible speed straight up.
Buffy looks around, grabs another rope.
ANGLE: THE ROPE
One end is tied to the wall, the other goes up to a pulley, holding a large piece of scenery up.
She grabs a broken board and slices the rope from the wall - instantly the scenery plummets to the ground
and Buffy is hauled straight up.
ANGLE: THE CATWALK
High above the stage, the vampire climbs onto the catwalk. It's narrow, with a wooden rail on either side.
He's making his way across it when Buffy comes up into view, letting go of the rope and landing right in
front of him.
BUFFY
Did I say anyone could leave?
He comes at her, she parries his blow but he's ready for her, knocks her arms aside and grabs her throat
with brutal force. She thrashes, grabbing his arms - he smashes her into the railing, splintering it and
holding her out over the stage.
Below her, the jagged beams of the wooden fence. Thirty feet down.
She hooks her feet over a pole just under the cat walk. He lets go - but she still has hold of his arms and
she pulls him, he goes over and down, Buffy holding on by her feet, dangling upside down as he
plummets straight for the fence.
ANGLE: WILLOW AND XANDER
We don't see him land, but they do. Their faces speak volumes.
After a moment, Buffy slides wearily down on the rope. She looks at the other two, then sits on stage.
The other sit also, way beat.
XANDER
So, Buffy… what does a Vampire Slayer do, exactly?
WILLOW
I'm sorry about all this…
BUFFY
That's okay. It's kind of a destiny thing.
And as they sit, we
CUT TO:
INT. THE MASTER'S LAIR - NIGHT
Not that we would know day from night in this shadowy crypt. It is hard enough to get a sense of the
dimensions of the place. Candelabras throw huge, rippling shadows on the wall. Silent, robed figures
scurry about.
At one end of the room sits the Master, his face largely in shadow. From what little we can see, the face is
not very nice. Or human.
THE MASTER
One girl killed them all? Four of my children taken from me by a single human?
ANGLE: BEFORE THE MASTER
Stands HAL, the janitor. He regards the Master with fear and awe, working his hands nervously as he
reports.
HAL
She had help. And she was very strong, very healthy, good cardiovascular circulation… jumped like a
jackrabbit, jumped like…
THE MASTER
A Slayer.
He pauses, contemplatively.
THE MASTER
The last Slayer I faced was a duchess, during the Spanish war. What a fighter. Her blood was so rich I
was sick for a week.
(to Hal)
Watch her. I want to know everything about her.
HAL
You betchya.
THE MASTER
She does not suspect you?
HAL
Nobody sees me. They all think I'm crazy.
(sudden wiggins)
Snakes! Snakes!
Calm again in a second, he smiles conspiratorially at the Master.
CUT TO:
EXT. CAMPUS - THE NEXT DAY
Buffy sits alone, reading. Cordelia approaches her.
CORDELIA
Hey, Buffy.
BUFFY
Oh, Hi.
CORDELIA
Listen, sorry about last night. I got a little wigged when you grabbed me.
BUFFY
It's so not an issue.
CORDELIA
Cool. Listen, I was thinking maybe this weekend if you're not busy we could do something.
BUFFY
Really?
CORDELIA
Yeah, go shopping maybe, or hunt down the minions of Hell…
She cracks up, as do the group of her friends gathered around.
Buffy looks around at the group laughing at her. She quietly gets up and walks away. Xander approaches
Cordy as she and the others laugh Buffy off.
CORDELIA
(still laughing)
Come on guys, let's go look for the evil bloodsuckers from beyond the grave.
XANDER
Got a mirror?
This stops Cordy in her tracks. Xander strolls off without another word, though he is silently very
psyched about his comeback.
Harmony calls out after him:
HARMONY
That was real funny… not.
Silently, all her friends turn to her, appalled. Harmony looks back at them in fear.
CORDELIA
Are you like, trapped in 1992? Update your slanguage, please.
ANGLE: BUFFY
Buffy approaches Giles and Willow (who saw the exchange with Cordy) as Xander comes up behind,
completing their little circle.
WILLOW
Sorry about Cordelia. She [is] kind of a fair weather friend, except for the part where she's nice during
fair weather.
BUFFY
All in a day's work for the Vampire Slayer.
GILES
You're just lucky nobody was hurt last night.
BUFFY
I wasn't lucky! I was extremely skilly.
GILES
That is in no way an actual word. Anyway, I just hope you get off as easy next time.
XANDER
(worried) There's a next time?
Giles looks at Buffy.
GILES
That's really up to you.
BUFFY
(after a moment)
Yeah, I guess I'm your guy.
She starts for the library, Giles at her side, the others behind. We TRACK before them as they stride
along, speaking rapidfire:
BUFFY
But if I'm gonna be fighting the forces of evil I want a few ground rules.
GILES
Fair Enough.
BUFFY
You keep it a secret. Nobody finds out who doesn't have to.
GILES
Yes.
BUFFY
You give me time for my homework. I don't want to flunk out and I got PSATs coming up.
GILES
Yes.
BUFFY
You dress up and sing "I'm the Lady in the Tutti Fruity Hat".
GILES
No.
BUFFY
Had to try.
BLACKOUT.